Hubby was not a smoker. However I have a dear friend who went through what your going through. She sat Mark down and said she needed his support and if he must smoke, to please respect her and not smoke in the house or in her car. He was great about it and followed through. She just kept a healthy attitude and stayed active and she is still quit,,2 years later 
Mark has since quit as well.
One thing that she said was she could smell the stale smoke on him everyday and taste it on his breath when they kissed...on dos cloths as she washed them.....She gradually brought this to his attention and deliberately put his cloths for a few days, into a closed basket and had his smell them and told him THAT is how he smelled. She then let it drop.
After seeing Melinda's success and determination, he decided to also put...about 10 months later...he did.
Now they BOTH enjoy a smoke free lifestyle and are doing amazing. They both used Chantx and did well with it.
Good luck, I hope this may help
Thank you elvan for tagging me My quit smoking journey started late August of last year after my husband was told if he continued to smoke his upcoming ablation was bound to fail and his a-fib would either not go away or come back soon. I was wanting to quit, but did not want to go it alone-I tried that a few years ago and it was not pretty. We had made the choice to quit the day of the ablation- Oct 30th. I found this site and was getting myself prepped. He said he would just use the AA program since it worked for his sobriety. I read a lot- got my quit kit ready- water, water, Chantix, water and breath mints got me through. I quit mid Oct, slipped on the 30th after his failed pre-op that sent us to another doctor that day- no sleep, stress-just poor excuses on my part. I did quit again and rerest my quit to Oct 31st and was better prepared for the next nic attack. In all honesty is does start with you just saying no. January 8th my husband had a successful ablation, but outside of a few hourly attempts my husband still smokes, I still buy him his carton once a month (I control the finances) and have just about guilted him into not smoking when we drive somewhere. I just avoid him when he goes out to smoke. He still has a-fib and having a lot of issues with it, but his choice to smoke, not mine. My roommate smokes too, but he respects my not smoking so that is not an issue. It sucks, somedays will be harder then others. I hope your husband stays quit, but lead by example and hold tight to your quit above all else.
I have a smoking spouse and a smoking sister who lives next to us. I decided before my quit date that I was doing this for myself. I knew I had to be strong enough to withstand others smoking because I was not going to ask either of them to quit. This was my choice. It has been harder to be around my sister....thats what we did together most of the time was smoke and chat. But it hasn't been unbearable. If I start feeling anxious then I just excuse myself and we meet up again a little later. The biggest issue I am having at the moment is when the smoking spouse and I argue. He gets to calm down by having a cigarette. I don't. Starts to seem unfair at times. But I constantly remind myself that this is my choice. Breathing exercises help me through a lot. I'm at 17 Days of Freedom so I am still on the patch. Rubbing it helps remind me what I'm doing....which is ridding my life of cigarettes. Forever. Believe me....every day I am scared I will slip. Anxiety is a bitch. But cigarettes just do nothing to help any of that. They really don't. I have attacked this quit with a mind over matter attitude. I know that if I can calm down even a little bit I can start to rationalize better and remind myself that cigarettes are not the answer. Not even one.
So moral of my lil story is....the things I use to calm down the anxiety with a smoking spouse are removing myself from the situation (get away from the smoke), breathing exercises (helps bring me into the moment so I can control that craving), rubbing the patch (reminds me why I'm doing this)....and a few others are taking the daily pledge (a must for me), dum dums, pretzels, gum, taking a walk, getting on this website to just look around and read a few things.
Hope this helps a little. And don't forget, we are all in this together.
Jodi
