If I may be so bold as to put my own words of wisdom here from May 31, 2006, almost three months after my quit.... with some added wisdom from two years of being smoke free... The Possibility Door was still open for me then. It is now closed. It took a while.
The Possibility Door (May 31, 2006) This content was changed. See https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/message/30751-the-possibility-door
I haven't chosen not to smoke. Not really. If I had, I wouldn't have to fight the demon every day. It's because I've left the Possibility Door ajar in my mind. The door that I could walk through at any time and return to smoking. The demon knows this and keeps curling his bony, crooked finger, beckoning through that dark crack, tickling, torturing, coaxing, wearing me down.
But I'm on the side with the angel.
On the other side (where I came from) is the old me that smoked. And there too is the same Possibility Door. But from that side it's the possibility of quitting. And for those on that side it too is ajar. And the angel knows this and keeps shining the light through the crack and beckoning with gossamer wings, full of hope, tickling, coaxing, urging, praying.
It's a swinging door with well lubricated hinges. On one side the demon of slavery, on the other the angel of freedom.
One can walk from demon to angel and from angel to demon. We have free will and it's a choice we make.
What I must do now that I've walked into the light, is close the door behind me, lock it, throw away the key, and put up a barricade of such magnitude that the Possibility Door becomes a misnomer - from this side. That it becomes the "Impossibility Door." The door through which I will never pass again.
Stop the swinging door. Make it a one way trip. When you truly throw away the key to the possibility door of ever smoking again, you will truly be free. It's only when you allow the possibility to smoke - that you will be forever tortured.
