Hi Everyone. I have relapsed. Doesn't really matter why but suffice to say that family care giving has been very stressful this past month. I really thought that with all I had learned on this site I would not be back at square one but here I am. Very disappointed in myself. I haven't set a new quit date yet but my relapse is bothering me more everyday.
Finding any time for myself has been a challenge and one of the big issues was my inability to get on this site for support. While running around hospitals, trying to keep up with work and barely sleeping, getting online here was not an option for the last month. It will still be a challenge but I have to find a way to come back here. Family is not supportive and not people I can call when I am struggling as most of them still smoke and those that don't are not people I can call for help when I am struggling. To make matters worse, my company has not blocked access to all non work sites during the day. I am in the car a lot for my job and checking my phone isn't an option while driving.
I have the info that helped me before and I will set a new date by the end of this week. I was hoping that knowing NOPE had to apply would help but the effort of staying quit during this past month was just energy I didn't have in me to fight. If anyone has some suggestions as to how I can navigate this site easier I would appreciate it. It was invaluable during my recent attempt but I had a hard time finding the right place to ask questions, keep up with a helpful post, etc.
Thank you for all being there when I needed it. I will try again. I have too much to lose.