Giulia

THE ANGER TRAP

Discussion created by Giulia Champion on Nov 21, 2009
Latest reply on Nov 21, 2009 by Giulia

(NOTE:  THIS IS THE COMPLETE DIALOGUE TAKEN FROM THE ORIGINAL EX SITE.  PLEASE LEAVE ALL POSTS HERE.)

WHEN WE QUIT, OUR EMOTIONS COME TO THE FORE. THE SMOKE SCREEN THAT WE'VE BEEN HIDING BEHIND IS GONE. AND WE ARE VERY VULNERABLE. IN SOME INSTANCES LIKE A TINGLING NERVE END. EVENTS THAT DIDN'T USE TO UPSET US, DO - NOW. PROBABLY BECAUSE WE ARE ALREADY IN A STATE OF FRUSTRATION AND TENSION BECAUSE WE'RE TRYING TO HOLD OURSELVES UPRIGHT AND THE WHISPERER IS TRYING TO PULL US DOWN. AND IT TAKES A LOT OF ENERGY TO STAY UPRIGHT.

BUT QUITTING GIVES US LOTS OF ENERGY. NOT ONLY BECAUSE OF THE INCREASE IN OXYGEN TO OUR CELLS, BUT ALSO BECAUSE OF THE ENERGY CREATED BY THE CRAVINGS. WE'RE VERY VOLATILE, AND THE SLIGHTEST SPARK CAN CAUSE AN ERUPTION.

ANGER IS A GREAT EXCUSE TO LIGHT UP. SOMETIMES WE GET ANGRY WITH A SPOUSE AND JUST TO SPITE THEM WE BLOW OUR QUITS. "I'LL SHOW YOU!" WE SAY. OR WE'RE IN A WORK SITUATION AND HAVE BEEN QUIETLY BOILING INSIDE FOR SOME TIME, HOLDING IT ALL IN, AND FINALLY WE LOSE IT. AND WE THINK THE WAY TO GET RELIEF IS TO LIGHT UP. OR IT COULD BE SOMETHING AS SIMPLE AS BEING STUCK IN TRAFFIC AND THERE'S A JERK IN FRONT OF YOU WHOSE HEAD YOU'D LIKE TO TEAR OFF. SO WHEN YOU GET MOVING AGAIN YOU STOP AT THE NEAREST CONVENIENCE STORE AND..... YOU KNOW THE REST OF THE STORY.

SMOKING WILL NOT SOLVE ANY OF OUR FRUSTRATIONS. THE SITUATION THAT MADE US ANGRY WILL STILL BE PRESENT AFTER WE LIGHT UP AND BLOW OUR QUITS ALL IT IS DOING IS CREATING A SMOKE SCREEN.

SO - WE MUST FIND A WAY TO VENT WITHOUT COMMITTING HOMICIDE AND WITHOUT INFLICTING HARM UPON OURSELVES BY BLOWING SMOKE. WE MUST TAKE ALL THAT PENT UP CRAVING ENERGY AND EXPEND IT IN IMAGINATIVE AND POSITIVE WAYS. JOURNALING IS ONE WAY TO EXPEND THOUGHT ENERGY. EXERCISE AND PLAYING SPORTS IS A WAY TO EXPEND THE PHYSICAL ENERGY.

FIND THE TOOL THAT WORKS FOR YOU TO DISSIPATE AND DEFUSE THE RAGE INSIDE. EXPERIMENT. DISCOVER.

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