Help day one!

Discussion created by plemonss1979 on Mar 3, 2018
Latest reply on Mar 7, 2018 by Mark

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Hi I just quit today is my first day. I need all the help I can get. Been smoking 23 years and I'm almost 40 years old with 2 little ones that I want to see grow up. My reasoning is we have no $ to buy any so I'm scared that when I do get $ I'm gonna buy some. My husband says he don't crave it like I do. Also scared that next weekend my son has his birthday party and family and friends will be here and they all smoke. I am so used to stepping out to smoke with them. Any advice for those that have quit and still have family or friends that smoke?

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Giulia Mar 3, 2018 11:22 PM
Welcome to you plemmonss! The best advice I can give you is to read as much as you can on here. Best of EX is a good place to begin. If you haven't done any preparation for you quit, you need to. Even if it's after the fact, going through the steps of the Plan will help educate you. Click on the upper right My Quit Plan and work your way through the material. Watch the videos offered. Here's another video that may aid in understanding the nature of this addiction: What is the Single Best Thing You Can Do to Quit Smoking? - YouTube

As far as the birthday party - you need to plan ahead as to what you will do when you want a cigarette. Find that one family member or friend who doesn't smoke and have them watch out for you. Let them be your quit buddy for the day. If you get weak, talk to them. Let them help you. Grab a sports bottle with one of those little nipples on it and suck on water during the day. Others will come here and offer other suggestions. Listen to them. If possible, ask friends and family to smoke outside. If you can, avoid being around it as much as possible.

Quitting is easy when we're sick or out of money. But educating yourself about the addiction will open your eyes to the possible. Glad you've joined us. READ!

Make Quitting a Priority
Quitting is a Skill that CAN be Learned
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YoungAtHeart Mar 4, 2018 10:34 AM
Welcome to our community!

Giulia has given you excellent advice and reading materials. I will add to that. For the birthday party, think of ways to distract yourself when the gang goes out to smoke. Maybe start a game with the folks left? Or a Conga Line. Make staying inside FUN if you can. Don't envy those folks....they don't WANT to smoke; they HAVE to smoke.

The most important thing you can do right now is to educate yourself on what nicotine does to your body and mind. To that end, I highly recommend Allen Carr's “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.” This is an easy and entertaining read.

You should also read the posts here and perhaps go to the pages of folks who you think might be helpful. You might visit whyquit.com, quitsmokingonline.com and livewell.com for the good information contained there. @https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex has lots of blogs written by members of this site with their experiences and guidance.

After you have completed the recommended reading, it will be time to make an informed choice of the quit aid, if any, you will use. If you go that route, I personally recommend the aids that don't let the addict control the dose such as the available prescription drugs or the patch. If used properly, gum, lozenges and inhalers are fine, but they need to be used only as a last resort. I have seen folks become addicted to them if they substitute them for every cigarette they used to smoke - just trading one addiction for another. I do not recommend the e-cigarette for three reasons: 1) the vapor has been compared to the polluted air in Bejing on a bad day, 2) they just provide another nicotine delivery system while continuing the hand to mouth smoking motion, and 3) the batteries can spontaneously catch on fire. . But – any method that you think will work well for you will be best for you.

The idea is to change up your routines so the smoking associations are reduced. Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand. If you always had that first smoke with your coffee, try putting your tennies on right out of bed, going for a quick walk, then taking your shower and THEN your coffee! Rearrange the furniture in the areas you used to smoke so the view is different. Buy your gas at a different station. Take a different route to work. Take a quick walk at break time where the smokers AREN'T.

You need to distract yourself through any craves. You can take a bite out of a lemon (yup - rind and all), put your head in the freezer and take a deep breath of cold air, do a few jumping jacks, go for a brisk walk or march in place, play a computer game. Don't let that smoking thought rattle around in your brain unchallenged. Sometimes you need to quit a minute or an hour at a time. You will need to be disciplined in the early days to distract yourself when a crave hits. Get busy! Here is a link to a list of things to do instead of smoke if you need some fresh ideas:

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2013/02/25/100-things-to-do-instead-of-smoke

The conversation in your head in response to the "I want a cigarette" thought needs to be, "Well, since I have decided not to do that anymore, what shall I do instead for the three minutes this crave will last?" Then DO it. You will need to put some effort into this in the early days, but it gets easier and easier to do.

Stay close to us here and ask questions when you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way!

Nancy
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MarilynH Mar 4, 2018 10:51 AM
You can do this quit believe it deep breaths and stay close because we're all here to help you through any rough patches that you may come upon but first you must make the choice to quit and stay quit no matter what is happening in life and be willing, determined and totally committed to succeed and you can and will be successful one precious Smokefree Day at a time or hour minute or even a second at a time,please read everything you can about quitting smoking and remaining quit because there's a wealth of information here to strengthen your resolve to kick the nicotine poison to the curb and start living a life of Freedom and tonight you can look yourself in the mirror and smile and say yay for Day WON with many more to come you can do this.....
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crazymama_Lori Mar 4, 2018 5:25 PM
put vicks under your nose and simply don't go outside with them. they'll be back in after about 10 minutes, only to go back outside again in another half an hour to hour again to feed that nagging voice.. You're going to have so much time on your hands now and actually getting things done.

Welcome aboard. Once you've completed Smoking Trigger Tracker Tool | Guides & Tools | BecomeAnEX, please visit Newbie Quitters and read some there and also Best of EX. Therein contains some very useful and timeless knowledge saved to share with those that are serious about quitting smoking and also understanding how nicotine works inside our brains and bodies, How Nicotine Addiction takes over (and what to do about it!) . Be sure to use the search feature on the right-hand side of your screen to find answers to questions you may have along the way. I can guarantee you that at some point or another someone at sometime has or had the same feelings you are questioning. We're just a bunch of former smokers helping other smokers quit and stay quit !!!!
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elvan Mar 4, 2018 6:05 PM
Welcome to EX. You have gotten lots of good advice.. if you do the reading BEFORE the birthday party and if you begin to work on your quit kit, it will be easier for you. The fact that it seems to be easier for your husband should not affect you one way or another...I know that it does BUT, I also know that everyone handles this period of time differently...just DON'T SMOKE. If you HAVE to be around people who DO smoke, put a little Vicks vaporub under your nose to disguise the smell, if it is at ALL possible, stay away from them and tell them WHY you are doing that...you might find that they are very supportive. This is a one day at a time journey and if a day is too long, make it an hour or a minute or a second. Keep saying NOPE, Not One Puff Ever. You CAN do this and what a beautiful example for your kids.

Ellen
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Mandolinrain Mar 4, 2018 6:15 PM
Yes, to everything they said above. Hope to see you here often. Wonderful place for support!
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indingrl Mar 4, 2018 6:54 PM
CONGRATS PLEMONSS1979 on YOUR NEW 1st DAY OF NICOTINE FREEDOM! Yahooooo Welcome and please take what HELPS and let go of the rest to be HELPFUL is MY only aim thank you ...It was SUGGESTED to drink lots of water to flush MY body of nicotine and chemical toxins and to TRY to remember to live ONE DAY AT A TIME.... its ALL WE have this DAY and to eat lots of oranges... for ME I personally CHOSE to chewed double bubble by the buckets it waz MY solution to MY habit of hand to mouth fetish for 38 YEARS sucking on death sticks and at the END I was using 50 death sticks a DAY and it was SUGGESTED for ME to stay on this site for the FIRST 90 days in MY early WITHDRAWING recovery from MY DRUG NICOTINE...it was SUGGESTED TO ME to throw away ALL MY OLD thinking and feelings of quitting MY DRUG NICOTINE because I failed ever time I tried to quit MY PROBLEM was STAYING QUIT I knew NOTHING of STAYING QUIT and they also SUGGESTED for ME to educate MYSELF on MY nicotine addiction by reading the blogs by those who were STAYING QUIT NO MATTER WHAT on this site and to also read the EXPERT ADVICE by Dr Hays here on EX. Also SUGGESTED to go to whyquit.com and its ALL FREE and Joel has been working with nicotine addiction for over 45 YEARS FREE book to read NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF by Joel and videos and tons of articles on day one...two etc... and what to expect in the FIRST days of NICOTINE WITHDRAW also SUGGESTED to put cinnamon on MY applesauce it helps clean MY blood naturally so I took ALL the SUGGESTIONS because I needed HELP and the people here to TEACH ME NEW THINKING NEW FEELINGS to be grow up and COPE with life on lifes terms...to thine OWN SELF be true and be RIGOROUSLY HONEST DEEP INSIDE MY HEART... NOBODY else just MINE.....the people here gave ME unconditional love with FACTS about their experience with using NICOTINE and HOW they were living FREE and WALKING their TALK! I was given HOPE by those who use to be just like ME when it came to OBSESSIVELY CONSTANTLY CRAVING the first 3 DAYS for MY DRUG FIX OF NICOTINE and also to blog BEFORE I use NICOTINE and to blog venting MY emotions mental physical withdrawing and to blog ask questions and to WAIT to receive the answers with love and solutions from ALL here who use to be right where I am in early RECOVERY FROM NICOTINE and they remembered what was given to them FREELY in days or months or years ago ... thank you for HELPING ME to remember YOUR THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON FOR ME TODAY because you let ME know NICOTINE is NOT a solution to COPE with ME or MY feelings life or people....I know for ME... IF... I CHOOSE TO USE NICOTINE again it will kill ME and today I believe God who is MY Higher Power blessed ME with you PLemonss1979 MY NEW beloved RECOVERING FROM NICOTINE FAMILY MEMBER keep on keeping on
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- plemonss1979 @ indingrl on Mar 4, 2018 7:30 PM
  Thank you for the support and you're right keeping up the knowledge of what it does to my mind and body is helpful. I've been wanting to quit a while as my hubby has brought it up before. My excuse always is but I like it. And that's my best friends excuse too. I know if I smoke one single one I am and will start again. It's like I want a cigarette but I know I be out need one. The habit part is the hardest and smoking with friends/family. I know is the hardest part.
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  - elvan @ plemonss1979 on Mar 4, 2018 10:12 PM
    The psychological addiction is much stronger than the physical addiction but they can both be overcome...one day at a time, one experience at a time. Your best friend right now is the mantra NOPE, it stands for Not One Puff Ever and remember that you cannot have just one because "they travel in packs." I never understand when people say they like it...what's to like? The smell? It's horrible...the fact that people look at you like you are a horrible person, the fact that you are risking your life? PLEASE think about the fact that smoking does nothing FOR you, it just does things TO you. You do not have to give up friends and family to quit smoking...you are doing what we ALL did, you are giving value to an addiction...addiction is nothing to value. Take care of yourself and believe that you can do this.
    Ellen
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Giulia Mar 4, 2018 10:24 PM
I wrote a little play about the dialogue that goes on in our heads as we quit, and how our attitude changes and grows along the journey. Might help. (It's long, just take it in Act bites to make it more palatable.) A Quit Dialogue in IV Acts
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TessaGrace Mar 5, 2018 6:25 AM
Finding that fresh nibbles are really helping, especially blueberries/grapes/watermelon/celery - also chopping Veg - make loads and stay near the crudités! Also I can imagine you blowing bubbles for the kids, hold close to the moments in which you are victoriously not smoking.
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elvan Mar 5, 2018 10:09 AM
Never another day ONE but rather MANY days WON!
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Nymous Mar 5, 2018 10:32 AM
You have been provided a lot of good options to handle your first few days. try all of them and choose what works for you but the key thing is to be resolute and take a pledge to never give in. Not one more puff ever.
I can tell you what worked for me.
1. Cold Cranberry juice
2. Anything that is Sour, I used sourpatch
3. Honey
4 Drink lots of water at least 2 liters of water every day. this helps to flush out the Nicotine faster
5 Remember using nicotine again should NEVER be an option
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MichelleDiane Mar 5, 2018 11:31 AM
Hello plemonss1979. Since you have some time before the party you can do things this very day that will help you when the time comes. There are still times when I need to be in the moment as opposed to thinking about upcoming events. If I can concentrate on what I am doing now the urge, crave, or thought do not take root. Are you doing any preparations like cooking, baking, picking music out? All of these things can be very helpful as they will engage you in activities other than smoking. Happy birthday to your son. Keep close to this site. Maybe if you are having a really tough time excuse yourself for a few minutes and come to the site. You can write HELP and will usually get a response very quickly or read something that helps you redirect your thoughts to a more positive place.
Best,
Michelle
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Sandy-9-17-17 Mar 6, 2018 8:26 AM
My first piece of advice, is please don't step out with them for any reason. You don't need to see or smell any of it!
Keep focused on the reason you are staying inside, and that is to throw your son a great party! What a great gift you are giving not only yourself, but your children as well. The gift of a life free from nicotine! You can do this, and you have made the choice to do it! Know in your heart that it is the right choice! You are still so young, and now is the best time to do it! What a great gift! Happy Birthday to your son! Enjoy the party!

Everyone else threw you so much that I will keep this short and sweet! Welcome to EX, where you will find the best support ever!

Sandy 170 Day of Freedom
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GyorgyiM Mar 6, 2018 3:54 PM
DON'T QUIT SMOKING!!!!
STOP SMOKING !!!!
The stronger your mindset the better. Listen to all the advice of these lovely people. Find your "niche' and utilize ALL of us to capacity. This is one place we WANT you to be selfish, because we ourselves are selfish in wanting to share the health, and happiness that comes with NOT SMOKING!
Welcome to the Family...
Miles of Smiles
G.
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anaussiemom Mar 6, 2018 4:04 PM
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roller831 Mar 6, 2018 4:45 PM
Welcome! I know when I first found this site, many Elders told me to read read read….and I did. Elders are those with one or more years of being quit. If you like what someone has to say, then you may want to read their blogs. I have some listed below.

Is anyone really ever ready to quit? Is there ever a good time to quit? I think you just need to be it until you see it or fake it until you make it! Act like an ex-smoker and you will end up being one! I think the single most important thing that helped me was Alan Carr's Easy Way to Quit Smoking book/book on tape.

A list of our Elders ELDER'S LIST

So here's the thing.....and you may not like what I am about to say....and that's ok. I get it. You need to accept that this is an addiction. Before you do that, it will be much more difficult to quit and stay quit.

Read read read. Do the steps to PREPARE yourself to quit. Do the steps so you are PREPARED on quit day and for the days AFTER quit day.

Some of the things I read in my first few days that helped me:
Dale’s Welcome to New Members My Welcome To New Members (12+ Years Of Watching)

YoungAtHeart Nancy’s Blog 101 Things to Do Instead of Smoke and her discussion For Our New Years' Quitters (and community members, too)

JonesCarpeDiem Dale’s Blog What To Expect In The First Four MonthsWhat To Expect In The First Four Months
Visit Best of EX
And read what has been posted there.

JACKIE1-25-15 gave me the link to Alan Carr’s book, “Easy Way to Quit Smoking”. I actually didn’t read the online PDF, but purchased a book on CD from Amazon and listened to it in my car over and over again for the first two weeks of my quit.

Keep this site close and keep posting and asking for help. You will get it. You will get things you like and things you don't like, but don't give up!!! We have been through similar experiences and can share our strength and hope. We are here to support you!

Roller
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Nymous Mar 6, 2018 7:16 PM
One thing I would recommend is to tell all your friends that you are quitting and you need their help to prevent from getting tempted.
My friends smoke and whenever I have quit , I tell them and you will be surprised to find many of your friends try to avoid smoking in front of you and some who will not let you borrow a cigarette.
have lot of cold veggies like baby carrots/celery/tomatoes, strawberry twirls, sour patch, regular gum, bubble gum etc.
the key things is to be convince yourself that no matter what, you are not going to take another puff and accept that it is gong to be difficult.
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Mark Mar 7, 2018 2:12 PM
Congrats on starting your quit journey and tagging the post thedayiquit! To read others' DAY 1 quit journeys go here.

Mark
EX Community Manager
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Help day one!

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