Hitting the wall

Discussion created by JLT022018 on Feb 25, 2018
Latest reply on Feb 26, 2018 by elvan

Hi all.  I have smoked for 50 years with a stint of vaping (24mg nicotine) for 2 and then both vaping and smoking for the past 3.  I have tried all the nicotine replacement therapies available (gum, lozenges, patches, nasal spray), welbutrin, chantix (nearly killed me), individual and group hypnosis, and most recently 2 attempts at cold turkey (one right after the other).  I was pleased these past two attempts that I managed almost 2 days without smoking.  Have been using an aromatherapy product to break addictions containing lavendar and geranium; a Smoke Free spray containing lobelia, oat seed, osha root, licorice, passionflowerpleuresy root, grindelia, mullein leaf, and ginger; and 0% nicotine vaping.  However, both times at hour 45 I hit a wall that seems insurmountable.  I experienced time distortion (2 minutes felt like 20, an hour like half a day) and an ever growing feeling of hopelessness.  Last night I managed to hang in there for 50 hours (with long bouts of uncontrollable sobbing) and finally went to bed and asleep with assistance from Ambien (not something I usually take).  Awake but foggy around midnight feeling emotionally worse then ever.  Succumbed and bought cigarettes smoked and went back to bed.  I don't know how to get under, over or through this 45 hour wall that is preventing my success.  Still feeling hopeless as well as disgusted with myself and smoking again.  Any advice / suggestions / recommendations are very welcome.