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Give and get support around quitting

Lalankford88
Member

New at this!!

Hey everyone!! Tomorrow is my first day of quitting and im already getting bad anxiety about it and building myself up nervously. I have tried to quit in the past and i never went through with it. A lot of my family smokes. All if my sisters smoke and there the ones that got me started 15 years ago. Im a stay at home mom with 4 boys, and that right there is a big stress!! They keep me on my toes all day and stress me out quite a bit with the fighting and yelling and being hyper 24/7. So i always run to my cigarettes. And when there napping i have time to myself and i go straight outside to sit and smoke a couple of cigarettes. I dont know what else to do because i do all my duties around the house in the mornings or at night before and then i have nothing to do once the kids are settled. Im so bored majority of the time and so i smoke. When im upset or stressed about something I smoke. I turn to cigarettes for everything like itll make everything better and obviously it doesnt change anything except calm me down for 30 minutes and its back to being bored or irritated. I just really need motivation and help from anyone that can help me crush this habit. Im sick of smoking and i want to be here for my boys a long time and dont want cigarettes to be the cause of something happening to my life. So please any advice or encouragemnet will help. TIA!! 

10 Replies
YoungAtHeart
Member

Welcome to our community!

Wow - FOUR boys at home?  WOW!  I am so happy you have made the decision to quit smoking at a young age.  We can help!

The most important thing you can do right now is to educate yourself on what nicotine does to your body and mind. To that end, I highly recommend Allen Carr's “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.” This is an easy and entertaining read. Here is a link to a free PDF version of it:

http://media.wix.com/ugd/74fa87_2010cc5496521431188f905b7234a829.pdf

 You should also read the posts here and perhaps go to the pages of folks who you think might be helpful. You might visit whyquit.com, quitsmokingonline.com and livewell.com for the good information contained there. @https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex has lots of blogs written by members of this site with their experiences and guidance. You should also do the tracking and separation exercises suggested in My Quit Plan http://www.becomeanex.org/my-quit-plan.php

After you have completed the recommended reading, it will be time to make an informed choice of the quit aid, if any, you will use. If you go that route, I personally recommend the aids that don't let the addict control the dose such as the available prescription drugs or the patch. If used properly, gum, lozenges and inhalers are fine, but they need to be used only as a last resort.  I have seen folks become addicted to them if they substitute them for every cigarette they used to smoke - just trading one addiction for another.  I do not recommend the e-cigarette for three reasons: 1) the vapor has been compared to the polluted air in Bejing on a bad day, 2) they just provide another nicotine delivery system while continuing the hand to mouth smoking motion, and 3) the batteries can spontaneously catch on fire. . But – any method that you think will work well for you will be best for you.

The idea is to change up your routines so the smoking associations are reduced.  Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand. If you always had that first smoke with your coffee, try putting your tennies on right out of bed, going for a quick walk, then taking your shower and THEN your coffee! Rearrange the furniture in the areas you used to smoke so the view is different. Buy your gas at a different station. Take a different route to work. Take a quick walk at break time where the smokers AREN'T.

You need to distract yourself through any craves.  You can take a bite out of a lemon (yup - rind and all), put your head in the freezer and take a deep breath of cold air, do a few jumping jacks, go for a brisk walk or march in place, play a computer game.  Don't let that smoking thought rattle around in your brain unchallenged. Sometimes you need to quit a minute or an hour at a time.  You will need to be disciplined in the early days to distract yourself when a crave hits.    Get busy!  Here is a link to a list of things to do instead of smoke if you need some fresh ideas:

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2013/02/25/100-things-to-do-instea...

The conversation in your head in response to the "I want a cigarette" thought needs to be, "Well, since I have decided not to do that anymore, what shall I do instead for the three minutes this crave will last?"  Then DO it.  You will need to put some effort into this in the early days, but it gets easier and easier to do.

Stay close to us here and ask questions when you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way!

Nancy

Ask yourself what you would like to do if you had time -music, dance, singing, guitar, art, crafts, writing, anything creative. /blogs/Maggie_quit_8-1-2010-blog/2012/03/19/100-things-to-do-instead-of-smoking?sr=search&searchId=0...‌ Redefine relaxing. Have you ever tried yoga or meditation? Maybe you could use a soak in the tub or paint your nails. The idea is to something for you! Put yourself really first instead of escaping with a Sickerette. 

Sickerettes add to your stress, anxiety and boredom. Quitting sets you FREE - to be the YOU you wish to be! 

- and you will become even more present with your children!

Shake off the anxiety. You acknowledge it, you let it go - just let it float away like a cloud in the sky! 

You can do this! 

elvan
Member

Welcome to EX...you have already gotten some of the best advice there is from YoungAtHeart‌ and JonesCarpeDiem‌ and Thomas3.20.2010‌  It sounds to me like you think smoking is your friend, your reward, pretty much your everything...right?  I smoked for 47 years except for pregnancies and some short term quits on my own.  Once I found this place and started doing the reading and becoming educated about this addiction...yes ADDICTION, I was able to see things a little differently.  I tracked my cigarettes and identified my triggers, I rated them on a scale of 1 to 5 with 5 being the worst.  I put together a "quit kit", I made a list of things I would do INSTEAD of smoking when those triggers occurred because I KNEW they would occur.  That's life.  I started to pay very close attention to what happened when I smoked...if I was stressed out, did I really feel more relaxed? Nope, my pulse rate increased and I just satisfied the addiction for a short period of time.  I smoked because of chronic pain...did smoking help?  Nope...it distracted me for a short period but the pain was still there, sometimes it was worse because of the position I sat in.  Anger was my biggest trigger and I lost more than one quit over that.  I did not smoke in the house so when I quit in the past, I felt like I could not go outside on the deck (my smoking area) when I quit...in the past.  THIS time, I changed the deck around, I got rid of all smoking paraphernalia and made it a space where I could go and just BREATHE...in and out, in and out, relieving the stress in a way that smoking never did.  I have not smoked in 3 1/2 years now and I credit this site and the people on it...the support, the education, the camaraderie with keeping me quit.  

You can do this and you have four very good reasons to be a good example and to want to live and not be disabled because of smoking.

Again, welcome to EX,

Ellen

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maryfreecig
Member

Welcome. Glad you are here. You listed  several reasons why quitting might be stressful, and you listed two motivations --sticking around for your boys and that you are sick of smoking. Well these are enough motivations for sure!  So quitting is one day at a time--not picking up the butts---focusing on what else you can do other than smoke. And nipping thoughts of smoking before they can grow...especially urges that come from the stresses you mentioned.  Lots of good ideas on that from the community--hints, tips and tricks. 

Keep learning about the addiction. Keep coming back--blog as you wish. One day at a time, yes you can!

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Sootie
Member

You've gotten some great advice from our community above. I would just like to add.....go to whyquit.com and read the articles there. Particularly, read the ones on why we only THINK smoking lessens our stress. It really doesn't. I thought a needed cigarettes to deal with stress but now that I have quit, I can deal with stress much more easily. Cigarettes...and our constant need for them because of addiction....actually cause our stress, not lessen it. We all see this once we quit and you will also.

Welcome to EX----we are all here for each other.

Stay Strong

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ranjitthewolf
Member

Sootie is absolutely right. Smoking doesn't deal with stress. Neither does smoking help in thinking better. When your brain faces stress it will cloud your judgement until it gets the nicotine dose. I am an IT professional and every time i had some sort of an issue with the servers or every time i had to go out to meet my clients i used to smoke. I always thought smoking helped me solve issues faster. I always used to get stuck with issues until i went to smoke. But only after i quit did i find out that  my mind was able to solve it by itself and i didn't need nicotine dose to help me solve it. First few days are going to be really difficult. You might relapse as well but hang in there we all passed through the same phase to get where we are are now.

/R 

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bonniebee
Member

I am glad you are here ! I raised  3 boys and I girl so I know what you are going through ! It is not easy but it is also wonderful ! You got a lot of info to work with above so I just wanted to say Hi and welcome you to Ex ! It took me years to quit and I missed out on many activities with my children especially with  my youngest who had special needs. By the time he was born smoking was beginning to be really frowned upon in ways it had never been before . I selfishly gave up going places where I knew I could not smoke ,I had been so used to smoking anywhere and any time I wanted to ! 

After Years of trying to quit on and off making it a few months a couple of times, I finally got fed up with the addiction and it's hold on me , the coughing and wheezing that would not let me rest or get to sleep , the high cost ,all of it and I found Ex ! Today I get to celebrate 900 Days of Freedom on the freedom train !!! Don't ever give up now is your time to be Free !!!Isayings quit free.jpg   Instead of being nervous about quitting get excited ! You have the power within to change your thoughts Positive thinking will make quitting so much easier to do !sayings welcome red rose.jpg

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Giulia
Member

 Lalankford88  No news is good news?  How's it going?  Don't you give up now.  Ya hear!  Sometimes it takes a few turns around the block to get it right.  

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