Community
Questions came up during the reading of the Relapse Prevention Group.
Which is most dangerous thinking or wanting a cigarette during withdrawals?
Is thinking when cigarette comes across my mind and I brush it off with new information or affirmation?
Is wanting when that craving comes and grabs hold of me mentally and physically?
12Finally34
I used nicoret gum my first three months of quitting it helps with the cravings. it gets easier I promise. good luck dear!
During my early days I thought of smoking often - but did not smoke because I really did not want to.
The addiction makes one think and want a cigarette but it is important to note that you also think and want to quit that is why you are doing this ! You want to quit more then you want to smoke . I call the voice inside my head that tells me to think or want a cigarette the Nicodemon he is my addicted brain and when I say No to him with no argument He goes away for awhile He comes back frequently in the early days but as your brain is renewed he comes less and less often to bother you !
Thinking means that you have a thought among the thousands of thoughts you have a day. Thoughts may feel compelling but we can also allow them to just come and go. For example, just speaking for myself, I have had the compelling thought to slug my Boss (in a different job) but I didn't do it! I just laughed at the image and changed my thought stream!
Wanting is when you hook onto a thought and let it grow your feelings!
"Boy, that guy is a real jerk! He deserves to be slugged and I would really like to be the one to do it! In fact, I'd like to be the one to do it NOW! It's worth i to me to become restrained by security, thrown out of here, lose my job, and face assault charges because I can't think of anybody who ticks me off more than him! I already have my fist and I'll raise it now! I can just let 'er swing! BAM!"
OR it's not too late to change your feelings but it's more work than letting go of your thoughts! It requires that you change your perspective. "I wonder if my boss knows how annoying and unreasonable he is being right now? Maybe he doesn't! He might have some influence in his life that effects him negatively and he brought it to work....
But what counts is what I do! I will give him a break, stick to the facts, stay chill, and ask probing open ended questions so I can collect more info to base my behavior on."
There are thoughts and feelings but what counts are ACTIONS!
I reread your answer!
The answer is just don't pick up whether it is a want or thought.
My triggers comes when I am doing something or just thinking.
The mindfulness is great help because I can let the thought enter and pass through.
I notice the difference when I put judgement or asking why the trigger. The trigger becomes a dialogue in my head.
12Finally34
That's right! You don't hook into it and give it attention. It's like the screaming toddler throwing a fit - ignore the screaming, stay calm and deal with the fact of the decision you have made!
Mindfulness is amazing!
I thought of smoking pretty much nonstop at the beginning of my quit BUT I did not act on it, I did not smoke. I KNEW I did not really WANT to smoke. I think they are equally dangerous...I was not sure that there would ever come a day when I would stop thinking about smoking but I came here every day, at least twice a day and I blogged, I read blogs, I commented, I learned. I cannot tell you exactly when the thoughts stopped coming but they did. First they slowed down and then they STOPPED. Now, if I have a memory of smoking, it is just that, a memory. I don't have to worry about acting on it.
Ellen
Thoughts breed feelings. Feelings breed action. Dwelling on cigarettes - whether thinking or wanting - are both dangerous in the beginning stages of a new quit. One of the many "Aha!" moments that occur when you've achieved a new level on the journey is that day when you can think about a cigarette WITHOUT wanting one. It was a breakthrough moment for me. That's why it's important to change our focus in the beginning. Each time we manage to do so successfully, we become more adept at it. Cigarette thought (craving) comes in, cigarette thought goes out. Until it feels like the thoughts just quickly pass through. It's a learned skill. Just takes practice. The point is not to dwell on them.
Giulia,
Thanks!! You do give it straight! I feel like you are like the elder spokeperson who does not deal with anything but the fact we cannot take the first puff.
Reading your blog, I began to see the unmanageability in my life and how much time it consumed. I see the insanity of wanting, mourning and paying for something that will kill me.
You asked what my goal was for the week, I wasn't sure. Now, I have two small goals I want to accomplish before the end of the 2nd week.
One, is to open a cigarette saving account.
Goal 2: making the effort to pray and gives thanks for these past 10 days.
I walked 37 blocks yesterday and when I passed a smoker - I said - they didn't say they are Ex...I am an Ex... If that didn't work, Carr's suggestion applied.
I have a nicotine sponsor and when I can not make a meeting, I call him. I am attending nicotine meetings and using the blog's suggestions.
Sleeping better - no nightmare - the water is still working.
12Finally34
Good goals to have 12Finally34 ! And 37 blocks is Fabulous! You're going to be "strong like Bull!" (said with heavy Greek accent!). Think of what you're going to do on your milestones with that cigarette saving account money. There was a member here Storm.3.1.14 who came up with wonderful ideas for his. Read some of his blogs. It's good stuff and you'll learn a lot. You're doing everything right! Keep doing it.
Didn't pick up the first puff but today was awful interacting with people (business and personal).
I made it through the day without picking up and made a Nicotine Meeting.
Read a few of Storm's blog have to reread, I was tired so I didn't quite get some of them. Have to set next weeks goal.
12Finally34
I am proud of you...there are always going to be bad days, challenging days but there are also always going to be GOOD days...SPECTACULAR days! It gets easier, promise.
Thanks eleven.
I wanted you to know I am attending the nicotine meetings and I am enjoying them. i wasn't ready for them back in 1989. Now, with the experience, concept of the program, I am becoming aware of my nicotine addiction and how to apply the program.
I believe it was you who recommended lemon. It works for me and help me to redirect my thinking and craving. I also buy the sour candy. The sweet candy increases my urges. I notice when i don't drank the water I become sluggish.
For me, this week the benefits are: enjoying the compliments and improving sleep hygiene.
I do not plan on refilling the Chantix, I believe I am building a foundation and have a strong support that I can deal with the withdrawals a heartbeat at a time. If the urges become too intense, I can always go back on Chantix.
Again thanks for the support.
12Finally34
Hi Eivan,
Taking your suggestion about staying close daily to the site (day-night)..
Today was a rewarding day!
Keeping busy is important. The day started with me feeling like I should stay home and lay in a fetal position.
I was encouraged to make a meeting. I remembered Carr's suggestion - "follow directions!". Instead of justifying why I was staying home, I followed the suggestion.
Listening, laughing and sharing changed my attitude. I recorded the feeling and tools applied.
I returned to my paint project and I am begin to see and smell a difference.
Making weekly goal is helpful also.
12Finally34
Stay with it. Another Day Won! Think about this for a moment: how far ahead you are of those who are just setting their quit date. They can't WAIT to have as many smoke free days as you do. Wallow in it! lol
Hi Giulia,
I didn't take the first puff and today I actually have 15 days (stopped 7/22/17. I attended meetings, drank water and ate lemon instead of candy. After meetings, I gave cards to members who were interested in the site.
Today, I visited the pulmonary clinic, intern took all the usual information and then he asked me the questions "You missed it don't you?." Carr's statement popped up and I respond with "How can I miss something that is killing me?. That is when I took the card out for Ex.., explain the great support I am receiving and recommended that they recommend Alan Carr's book part of their program.
The doctor who suggested I use Chantix came in. She noted that my appearance has changed and along with voice quality. I asked her about Chantix. She didn't think I needed a refill and to keep doing what I am doing along with attending their clinic. She let me know if I think I needed more she would refill the prescription.
I am beginning to accept the fact that 45 years will not go over night and I only have a daily reprieve of not taking the first puff. I share my frustration and irritation about not getting rid of the smoky smell and the thoughts fast enough. i take your suggestions and not let the thought turn into a feeling.
The benefits are adding up. The best benefits for me are: sleeping longer, better and not seeing what other seeing, smelling and hearing (softer voice, brighter complexion and fresh smell).
Thank you for being there and not letting me dwell on the small things in quitting smoking.
Trying to find a picture to upload.
12Finally34
15 whole days. Well, we who have been there, certainly know how it feels and the effort needed to get there! And sometimes we feel GREAT and yet sometimes not so much so. You've done all your homework (and I'm sure you're continuing to do so with reading on here). I love the fact that you're passing out the EX cards! Oh heck no you don't need another prescription for Chantix. You've got this! "I am beginning to accept the fact that 45 years will not go over night" And only after 15 days! It takes others a much longer time to realize that. The more we accept the journey, the easier it becomes. Because we know whatever state we're emotionally in with a craving - it will alter and be gone in the next moment. Fighting is tiring. Accepting means a sort of "giving up" to the journey. Hmmm, actually I think we need both within us. The fight to get it done, the accepting of what it takes to get there. Essentially the acceptance of the "choice" we made. For better or for worse.
"I didn't take the first puff..." Keep that mantra and you will have day after day of smoke-freedom that will add up to your first year milestone.
Hi Giulia,
I reread your message. I didn't take the time to wallow in the fact that I accomplished something.
Wow!
Thanks - for reminding me of Rule #64 - Don't take myself so serious!
I did the victory dance off Ed Shenan's new single!
Thanks!
12Finally34
Good Morning Self,
How does it feel to go to the bathroom first and brushing our teeth?
How does it feel NOT to have fear, heart palpitation and anxiety being the first thing we feel?
How does it feel NOT to feel alone and hopeless?
How does it feel to have a platform where you can have an honest feeling and opinion without internal dialogue judging every word?
How does it feel that the craving is NOT intense but brief?
How does it feel as the tears roll down our cheek as we mourn and feel our deepest sorrow without a cigarette to comfort us?
How does it feel to leave the house with hope and wanting to be of service instead of scheming to have someone service me?
Just for today NOPE (Not One Puff Ever) and gratitude!!
12Finally34
Thoughts breed feelings. Feelings breed action. Dwelling on cigarettes - whether thinking or wanting - are both dangerous in the beginning stages of a new quit. One of the many "Aha!" moments that occur when you've achieved a new level on the journey is that day when you can think about a cigarette WITHOUT wanting one. It was a breakthrough moment for me. That's why it's important to change our focus in the beginning. Each time we manage to do so successfully, we become more adept at it. Cigarette thought (craving) comes in, cigarette thought goes out. Until it feels like the thoughts just quickly pass through. It's a learned skill. Just takes practice. The point is not to dwell on them.