I don't know what you do for a living but there's work out there. In the interim quitting smoking, beyond the obvious health benefits to your and your family, is a no brainer. You can't 'afford' the financial drain of this nicodemon. When you toss them keep congratulating yourself!! It's not easy - you're a superstar! Find ALL the great attributes you have. Make a list of the GOOD in your life and focus on that. Remember to be thankful for all the good. The bad will pass - I've been there and it just about ruined us financially but 10 years later it's a lesson well learned and a memory of strength of the human spirit. Take advantage of every little bit of help you can find. You're not a loser, you're going through a rough patch. And while you're waiting for that job keep busy. Mow lawns or whatever will bring in some bits of cash. I'm sure you're taking advantage of the job research and posting sites and your resume is up to date.... You can do this and you can do it without the nicodemon. Vent, vent, vent - bitch, moan, scream, cry, yell, yell some more then get moving into your future. You have a family - a wife and children. You are so blessed!