Why pulmonary rehab?

[Gma_Bernie]

I signed up to go to pulmonary rehab after an exacerbation. The paperwork they sent me has mostly to do with diet and cholesterol and things that have nothing to do with lungs. And breathing. I'm not sure this is going to help me at all. I have moderate COPD. I don't think that this program is going to do anything for me. Why do they assume that everyone who signs up has a weight problem? I was underweight for a long time from smoking. My cholesterol is good. So that's at least half of their program that is going to be wasted on me. Not feeling like wasting my money.

[Gma_Bernie]

I'm sorry Thomas, but what might be a  "pesky" comorbidity like depression and anxiety to you,  has been a lifelong condition for me since I was a young child. It is just as real as cancer or any other disease. When suicide starts picking off more than one member of your family, "pesky" is very dismissive.

[Thomas3.20.2010]

Yes I have had deep depression my entire life along with PTSD. I do apologize for trying to lighten up. I get so depressed I feel that pull - and I have lost 5 siblings and both parents to disfunction and mental illness. Since October last year I have panic attacks so bad that I can't even drive a car. It's no laughing matter!

[Gma_Bernie]

Sorry for being overly sensitive. I went to the intake. Unfortunately I can't go. It's 2 days a week. I'm already doing 2 days a week starting next week in a group counseling commitment for the next 6 months. Rehab will have to wait. Because without this counseling, I don't really care if I live or die. And I don't care, I still hate exercise. I will never ever go to a gym to exercise. I will do yoga.

I understand your passion Thomas. You are still young enough that you have important things to do in life. I am retired. I don't do anything important. This is not a bid for attention. It's just the way I am and the way I've always been all my life. Never felt like at home here. But, it looks like I'm stuck here. So eventually I will have to do rehab. Bad attitude that Bernie.

[gregp136]

You are important here, and each person you interact with are changed as a result.  Retirement does not end your usefulness, it opens up your life to doing more useful things.  Find ways to reach out to others.  You can make a difference, in every small thing you do!

[elvan]

Gma_Bernie‌ You absolutely are important here, you really are not the only person suffering from depression or other mental illness...honestly, there are many people here who struggle every day.  You are going to do alright, Bernie.  I am really hoping that the counseling is an answer to your prayers.

Love,

Ellen

[Gma_Bernie]

Sorry I was not clear. I did not mean this site when I said "here."  I meant just the world in general. But in a way my slip of the tongue give me a clue about why I'm so unhappy. I don't feel important. This afternoon's meditation: what can I do to feel important again?

[Gma_Bernie]

I really am sorry Thomas. I know I'm not the only one. Just having a rotten time of things lately. I bought some beautiful yarn to knit my granddaughter a sweater. I started it and now it's sitting in a basket. It's been there since the spring I just can't pick it up. I'm sorry again.

[Thomas3.20.2010]

Don't apologize, Bernie. We just want you to feel better. It takes a long adjustment to accept that we have a disability. I think a year ago I would not have. Now I am coming to accept it and grow into it. I have a serious cough today and sinus infection but I still managed to decorate for Christmas and to visit the blogs. Fatigue feels like I have just built a house yesterday - every day. Be kind to yourself. You have so much left to give. I'm sure your granddaughter will love her sweater even more because you made it! Never underestimate the influence of a grandparent!  

[Gma_Bernie]

Yes, Thomas.