Mark's response is dead on as far as I'm concerned. You know the truth of that answer for yourself. Listen to the answer that's coming from that Best of you. What if you start up smoking again? Well, I can only speak for myself, but if I did start smoking again - wow, aside from the money being spent and the health being undermined slowly without my knowing it, aside from going back to the slavery of it all, that pernicious, desperate constant NEED, aside from that niggling background worry of "will I get lung cancer from this," that persistent underground thought always there that I MUST stop smoking, aside from ALL that - there is the thought that if I did start smoking again, I would let myself down. I would have reneged on my promise to that Best of me. And also to those who care about me and love me and want the best FOR me.
As I have journeyed on in my quit, I have strengthened my resolve, my commitment to that Best of me that said "you can do this." I didn't feel that way in the beginning. It was a gradual process. A learning process. I didn't know, even, what that Best of me might be until I undertook this journey. But that is what I have learned from it.
I want to say delete that question within you, but without such questions and without answering them for ourselves and coming to conclusions, we don't progress on this tough journey to forever free. What if you start up again? You know the answer to that. Trust that answer. It's the truth. My hope is that you never let your quit go!
Ellen
