I didn't really want to quit when I did. But I'd made a commitment and perhaps I did want to quit a little. I didn't know what to expect out of life as a quitter because I'd smoked daily, hourly for years and years. That's all I knew. I'd heard it was an addiction, but when I quit, I was convinced that I loved smoking--that that was why I really smoked. So I quit, but defiantly stuck to the idea that I missed smoking because I loved it.
Because of the addiction it hurt for a while after I quit. I was confused, distressed at times. I quit cold turkey, mostly on my own (no Ex) but I did use support via the internet--NH Quits, youtube videos, American Lung Assoc. I searched for anything that would help me cope. Sometimes that meant a long walk. Sometimes that meant eating candy. Sometimes it meant watching the Honeymooners, Carol Burnet, Barney Fife, Frasier for comic relief. Sometimes it meant feeling sorry for myself but not smoking.
It takes time. Maybe I'm a Princess Fusspot, but I found my acceptance through trial, not smoking, time and continually reaching out for answers.
You can quit and call it your own. Big hug and sending support your way that you find your yes on your terms.
