Well today is finally here and I'm glad to be writing this. I thought about writing each day leading up to this but instead decided to just work on myself and mentally prepare, so I haven't been posting or reading anything on here since the middle of last week.
I smoked my last cigarette last night around 9PM and then went to bed. It was pretty uneventful and I didn't think of it as a celebration or anything, nor as a big long goodbye. I just smoked it and realized it wasn't that great. So that was that.
I'm reading the Allen Carr book (about half way through) and that's been a big help in understanding that this addiction is mostly a result of being brainwashed. Good reminder when I feel like I NEED to smoke.
Today has been OK so far.. I'm definitely noticing the fact that I'm not smoking but when I have the urge to smoke, I just say to myself; "oh that's right, I quit doing that". Seems to be working fairly well but in some ways I'm waiting for this boogeyman withdrawal to hit me like a freight train at any moment. I'm sure it'll get worse as the days go on but right now I feel pretty good being almost 15 hours into my quit. The commute to work was pretty tough actually and I do feel a bit tingly and sort of detached here at work. I'm hungrier than usual and I'm aware of my vision more than usual.
Writing this definitely helps and I've done the "count the red things in the room" thing a few times. I've got my mints, drinking plenty of water, and I've been on Welbutrin for a few weeks now (which has it's own set of side effects). I'm not doing any NRT though... I just feel very aware of myself I think... It's hard to describe.
I feel confident about quitting but I'm also hesitant to let myself get cocky about it. I have a lot of emotional things going on in my life right now with being recently divorced. I'm trying to just concentrate on my quit and sort of let it take precedence to my on-going personal drama both real and imagined. Oh, and I also quit drinking coffee today. Not sure if that's a smart move or not. I do feel tired... and a bit melancholy, but I'm staying positive and I have a busy week of work and other activities to help keep myself focused on other things.
Feeling hopeful... ODAT!
Trevor
