To people who relapse

[DonnaMarie]

I have been the one. The one who quit for a week, a few days, whatever, and then picked up one cigarette and fell into the relapse game. I came here and talked about the relapse and then I fell off the face of the planet.

I was reading replies to a person who relapsed and one of them said "thank you for posting!" I thought that was so profound in a weird way. The relapser screwed up their courage and posted. They didn't disappear from EX. And they were thanked for that. 

I want to add my thanks to relapsers who try again and again and again, and come here and talk about it. It is so brave to not internalize it all, to share with us, and to, believe it or not, strengthen my/our quits. By starting again, you're showing signs that you're gonna make it. You have not given up. You want to quit. You're flirting with smoking, but you'll show it to the curb before you know it. I believe in you! 

I'm 44 days in and have quit numerous times before. I know what a relapse is and how tempting the urge to smoke can be. I also know that if I take even one puff, I'm a smoker again. And to tell the truth, I'm not sure I would have the wherewithal to come here and admit the relapse and ask for help.

So, yes, thank you for posting. You are doing both yourself and me a favor by doing so. And keep quitting!

Donna

Day 44

[McCarron]

I have quit many times but have never stayed quit long enough to actually be able to say that I enjoyed being a non smoker.

I'm going to try to be patient with the process. I'm sure that in time, I will be saying that quitting is one of the best things I have ever done.

[elvan]

McCarron   It does take time and it is not easy, it is one day at a time and it is so worth it.  I don't smell like a stale cigarette anymore, I don't have to sneak away from groups so I can go smoke.  I can stand outside and blow bubbles if I want something to do that won't HURT me.  I wish I had quit much earlier, I cannot tell you the number of times I quit and went back to smoking, seriously, I lost count but EX held my hand from the beginning with this quit.  Once I was able to get on line...I had been SO SICK that I really thought I had waited too long.  I AM proud of my five years +.

You are doing great, being part of this community was what kept me quit and can do the same for you.

Ellen

[DonnaMarie]

elvan wrote:

You are doing great, being part of this community was what kept me quit and can do the same for you.

Ellen

This is so amazingly true and I encourage you to come by often, even if you don't post. I was here, left, here, left, and then started lurking before I jumped back in. The elders and people quitting around the same time as me, everyone, helped me by knowing where I was coming from and where I was going. Glad to see you here and hope to see more of you.

Donna

Day 107

[Tsaddik1]

Thanks so much for your post, Donna. I've been around this site for awhile even though I've relapsed. It has helped me more than I  can express. Have cut down to about 8 cigs a day, quit using patches 2 weeks ago. Terrified about setting another quit date because I'm scared of breaking it and the attendant shame that follows. As I was a 2-2 1/2 pack a day smoker for 45 years, this is no small feat to get down to 8 cigs/day. I know intellectually that I need to make the jump to just quit altogether and will try to set another quit date in the next week. Congrats on your 44 days. So happy for you!

                   Gary

[Giulia]

Hello Gary.  Welcome to our quit family.  Just an FYI, this blog is over a year old and Donna has been quit since Dec. of 2018.  

Good for you for getting down to 8 cigs a day.  No mean feat indeed after smoking as much as you did for 45 years.  Keep reinforcing the positive, "can do," mindset.  You might just spend some time also reading the material in the Relapse Prevention‌ group.  The more you read, the greater the reinforcement.  You can do this.

[Tsaddik1]

Giulia, thanks so much. Your support means a lot right now. I've learned a lot just reading the many posts here.My neck surgery is still on for the 22nd because it's not an elective surgery. At least I now understand that these cigs do not help with the anxiety I feel.

[Giulia]

Cigarettes helped to relieve anxiety in the sense that they gave us the time to be alone and think.  Aside from simply relieving our nicotine need.  They also, when you think about it, were the times we took long deep breaths.  Breaths of poisons, but long deep breaths, nonetheless.  That's why the slow, deep breathing, calming, techniques help so much.  Even if we put our two cigarette fingers together and take a "draw" on them just like we did a cigarette - try it - do you see how you inhaled a nice long deep breath?  Held it for a second and then released it?  You don't "taste" anything when you just inhale air, I grant you, but there is a calming effect to that process nonetheless.  Try it.  Tell me what you think.

And PS, I don't what neck surgery you're having done, but I can assure you that not smoking will help the outcome.