67oldbabe wrote:
I totally understand the negative reactions you had to this site.
My first comments were like yours - I referred to the site as being Like entering the world of the Stepford Wives!
Not sure that's entirely accurate and a pretty broad generalization about this diverse population. We celebrate diversity.
67oldbabe wrote:
Boy did I get a reaction - I guess they all forgot about it (back in August).
Making a broad assumption about a diverse population did result in a strong response. I assume that is what you were looking for.
67oldbabe wrote:
This group is very protective - they are committed to “the quit” and they do not appreciate anyone who voices an opinion that questions their quotes, research etc. They are (by majority) Christian and similar to an Oscar acceptance speech Thank God regularity - and that is ok but not all of us drink the same kool aid.
Yes, some people are very protective. but not representative of the entire site. There are friendships that go back 10+ years. And people who have given without expectation countless hours of their time to pay it forward to those quitting after them and in appreciation to those who helped them quit and the people who've been lost but not forgotten along the way.
This is a successful community and people want to see it last and be healthy so there is also some who are protective of it as a place for people to get support. As they should be. They want as many people as possible to utilize the resource but also to successfully quit thus diminishing the potential long-term effects. With any population you will have some people who are really strong in their opinion and others who are not but are still into information sharing.
There aren't any formal numbers as to people's religious affiliations so we anything about any specific religion is purely anecdotal. We certainly don't keep track. We do have places where people can congregate if they so choose but we also have places where people can come together regardless of their religious ties to share a common spiritual connectedness. I would say a minority of our members share anything about their religious ties. We want people to be themselves but certainly we also ask them be cognizant to not overwhelm someone who may have different beliefs and is not receptive to such content. We celebrate everyone's differing opinions. Take what works for you and ignore what doesn't. Even though a response may be directly to you only some may be applicable.
67oldbabe wrote:
This tight knit group ( only 10 respond all the time) know each other - have history together and share a real connection. They pass comments back and forth about family issues etc. Sometimes that closeness makes a visitor to the site feel like a real outsider and makes it even harder to navigate through daily discussions because you end up reading about someone’s father-in-law or gardening issues of which are of absolutely no value to someone who is trying to quit smoking.
Yes, there are some people who have been around a while and yes there are some super involved people. I love that we have people who have paid it forward for years and also some people who are more recent who have committed to solidifying their quit by also paying it forward. Healthy online communities need and benefit from diverse populations of people. We celebrate those contributions. And healthy communities also connect beyond the topic at hand. It would be a boring place if it was only about quitting smoking/vaping/chewing. There are so many other things to talk about and new interests that can be gained and learned about here. New ways that people connect and share interests beyond the commonality that they were/are addicted to nicotine. Those discussions are largely housed in sub-communities of the site. No person is required to read them or respond to them. If it doesn't interest you you can ignore. If it does, great, it's there for you. And if you're talking about something non-smoking related your distracted and not smoking. So I disagree with your assessment.
I do agree with you to some degree that some new people have felt that they were an outsider. This has been expressed to me and we are continually attempting to find ways to diminish feelings like this. But that requires a two-way dialogue. The person expressing/feeling that sentiment must be willing to communicate to help establish an understanding so corrective action can be taken. In some cases I have gotten valuable feedback and have made changes but in other cases I have gotten feedback and have asked for more details but was met with silence. I want to make this a more inclusive place and diminish feelings of exclusivity or groupings but that requires two-way communication. There will always be some natural group and some people will just get along with some people more than others. That's okay too. There are plenty of people here to support you who will match your preferred support style. Being open and willing to communicate your needs is important just as being receptive to the feedback you receive as well. Again, you're not expected to apply all the advice. Use what works for you. It helps also when people report back and show appreciation for the people who do respond, whether it helped or not. That's their time. They invested in you whether their experience helped you or not, there are many lurkers here too who just read but don't respond. Though their reply didn't help you it may be really helpful to the next person. Bottom line. Lead with kindness!
This community has grown in size in the last 11 years and especially in the last 3 structure-wise to allow people to co-exist with people who they get along with and still avoid people who they don't. As with real life we sometimes avoid the people we don't get along with. That's fine. If there is someone who rubs you the wrong way, kindly send them a PM and ask them not to comment on your content going forward rather than attacking them publicly or privately. If they still engage with you after a request not to, reach out to me via Private message or email or mark their post as abuse and include a note as to why it was marked as such. The notification comes right to me. I'll review and investigate. Also include details as to when you asked them to cease interaction with you. I'm here to facilitate healthy interactions.
67oldbabe wrote:
But back to your original comment - if you can read articles recommended by certain supporters on the site and you read the responses based on years of staying quit, it will help you.
Even though I got berated for my comments on several topics I still check into the site daily and it has helped me stay quit for over 2 months. When someone asks a question or opens up a discussion about issues and roadblocks related to quitting it is of real value to read the responses from former smokers who have successfully quit.
Thanks for your feedback. Glad you've found value. Sorry you felt berated for comments though there were some comments that have a tone that could be read as a bit caustic. Congrats on your quit. Yes there is a wealthy of information posted here, preserved from far back as 2008. Some of which still holds true, some is a bit outdated but still a story of how times have changed. You can also see a timeline for some people on how their thinking changed over time.
67oldbabe wrote:
I am convinced that the Mayo Clinic does compensate regular contributors to this site which is probably a good thing. If the regular 10 contributors don’t receive at least a trip to The Mayo Clinic Mothership in Rochester, MN then they spend way too much time on the computer everyday - no time for gardening!
No one here is compensated in any way by Mayo or Truth, unless they get selected for a research opportunity that provides compensation for participation in the research study. I'm the only daily active paid employee who actively participates. Others will come on here from time to time.
People can spend their time on a computer or on the site as they see fit. I don't think that's a fair judgement. Plenty of people on here have other things they do and there is evidence that they do. Especially the top 10 people. We have a very talented group of very active people on the site. I'm continually impressed by the many gifts people have on here and how they manage they still give free time to help others quit.
67oldbabe wrote:
Anyway, stick with the site - it will help you navigate through the highs and lows of overcoming an addiction.
Am sure I will be berated once more for commenting. Hopefully you will note that I was overall quite positive. Everyone is entitled to comment.
Appreciate your endorsement. It is a great place. 
In the 10+ years that I've been managing online communities I've seen people communicate in a tone online that they never would in person. So your online perspective of a person might be completely wrong compared to knowing them in person. For that, I think you are somewhat misunderstood. You have valuable feedback to share that can help the site improve but the tone of your posts is somewhat combative and not as constructive as it could be. I definitely feel your passion for the topic and hope that we can find a way for you to keep your individuality and increase your comfort for participating here. I also believe all people have valuable feedback despite their sentiment and seek to find value in that feedback and implement whenever and wherever possible.
I know this was long and hope you read to the end as there were a number of things that needed to be addressed.
Mark
EX Community Manager
Edited 10/10/19 for spelling error.
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