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Give and get support around quitting

Kellybeth
Member

The true cost of smoking

This is an update on a post I made a few weeks ago (290 days)

My Kind, Sweet , Gentle, Loving Sister in Law has died. She passed away at 6:15 PM on Saturday 12/23/17. She had Lung cancer that had spread. She was just 48 years old. She passed away under the care of hospice. She spent the last 2 weeks of her life just waiting for it to end.

I went to visit her almost every day that she was there. And every time I walked in the room I was afraid of what I would see. Every day was worse then the day before. It was hard to see someone you love in that state. She was skin and bones. There was just nothing left of her.

Lisa's main fear was being alone at the end. When her time came, she was not alone. Her room was filled with the people that were most important to her. I sat with her from 11 am until she took her last breath at 6:15 that evening.

I have never seen or been a part of anything like that, nor do I ever want to be again. Her passing was not as peaceful as I would have hoped. It was not like I have seen on TV. It was nothing short of terrififying. She knew she was about to die and the fear in her eyes is something I will never forget. 

I could go into further detail but I don't want to put the image in your head like the one I can't get out of mine. I can't stop thinking about her, about the last moments of her life. Life is short as it is. Why must we do things to our bodies to make it even shorter.

I have not smoked since 2/20/17. I plan to never smoke again. My Husband, Lisa's brother, continues to smoke. I told him if he doesn't stop it will be him in that bed next. She smoked about 2 years longer then him. This is his future.

Please if you are thinking about quitting remember this story. This is the reality of smoking. You must take care of yourself. Do not make the consequences of your actions fall on to your loved ones.

Much Love,

Kelly XOXO

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13 Replies
MarilynH
Member

I'm so sorry that for your loss and the pain and the heartache that you're going through and I pray that your husband will realize that he should quit and do it for himself as well as for you. ((((((((((Huge caring hug from me to you))))))))))

Giulia
Member

Your blog is so hard to read, and so necessary to be read by all those who are struggling with their quits and all those who haven't yet committed 100% to the journey of quitting.  

It will take a long time to erase those images from your mind's eye.  But they will lessen, the edges will soften and eventually it will not be the first thing you see in your imagination when you think of her.  Dear God, so young she was.  

Thank you for this hard hitting blog.  If it gives one person out there the impetus to quit or prevents another from relapse - it's worth it.  

Heartfelt sympathy for you and your family.  

Kellybeth
Member

Thank you all for your kind words. I hope that one day I will be able to think of her without sadness. She was a really wonderful person who meant a lot to many people. I do hope my Husband is able to break free from this addiction. Even after seeing what I saw, there is still times that I could really "go for a cigarette" but I know how hard I worked to become a non smoker. Stay strong everyone. Every body's journey is their own and they are all different. I wish everyone luck and love ❤️

elvan
Member

Sending you love and hugs...a cigarette would do nothing FOR you...you have seen firsthand what they can do TO you.  Think of her with love...the sadness will lift very slowly but it WILL lift.

Ellen

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