Smoking Partners

[nettrice]

mh, thanks for the post Jim, I agree totally, but that is not my point/problem.
  The thing is I want to help my love you know I want him to be able to breathe better and desintoxificate of cigarettes and co as well. I want our future children to grow up in an addicction-free environment.. I guess my quit is actually motivating me and him alike to a new kind of lifestyle, and awakening on all levels...
  of course I leave it up to him and am patient.. it seems like he likes my example and is starting to think about quitting himself though, I am not pushing him to do anything, everybody at his own pace... anybody else any other motivation techniques???

[star4]

Hi: Sounds like we're in the same boat Amber.  I've quit many, many times - my SO is about my only trigger anymore, except drinking, but now that you can't smoke in bars, that's much easier too. 

Quit date is Jan 2, I'm taking Chantix now. MY SO has agreed to smoke outside, run away if I come looking for him, remove all butts (yes, I'll rummage through an ashtray for a big butt!),  and not give in when I try to bum a smoke.  The advise said, and I'm gonna try and follow, if you want to "slip" go buy your own pack (why put the guilt on someone else), take out one smoke, and before you light up, destroy the rest of the pack.  That $5.00 cig may put it in perspective too. 

So, let's see what my song is somewhere around Jan 5!  Or better yet, around July 2!  Since my problem really starts after the initial quit, once I'm off the drugs.

[star4]

Tammy:  Plead with him to help you out.  Explain how important it is to you.  If that doesn't work, run away every time he lights up!  Seriously, I know from experience.  Go outside, walk the dog, exercise, clean a closet, just get away from the smoke.  Especially the first few months, avoid smokers at all costs.  The temptation is just too great.

[steveo3]

 I really need to get my wife to quit as well, I can't stand the smell on someones clothes when you dont smoke.  It's one of the reasons I started again when we got back together.  It doesn't seem to bother me if I smoke as well.

[cosmoqueen]

I know what all of you are saying and it's so true.  My so is being very good...but I had to make it that way.  First, was telling him to smoke out in the hall, then I got grossed out walking out in the hall to leave the apt. that I told him that he had to go outside, so he is.  Also, he kept leaving his pack on cigs on the coffee table, I then put them up on the entertainment stand, out of sight.  So, he freaked for a second and asked me where I put them and I told him that I don't need any temptations laying around and he apologized and has been good about not laying them around.  Unfortunately, this is not enough for me now.  It makes me sick to kiss him....it is like licking an ashtray.   I am afraid what this is going to do to our relationship now.  He really is a great guy but I don't think he has any intention of quitting.

[denise14]

I am in the same boat as most of you.  We were gonna quit together and he didn't, but I did.  (43 days ago).He smokes in basement and keeps cigarettes out of sight, but I can smell it on him and I don't enjoy kissing him either.  He says he is going to try Jan 1...we'll see.

[nancy55]

I have smoked for 50 years   something I am not proud of!  I have tried so many times I can't remember how many!  I started taking chantix 6 days ago and so far they seem to be working by blocking off the nicotine going to my brain. i don't have the urges and they are tasting pretty bad so i am hoping they will work.  My husband of course isn't interested in quitting so the cigs will be around here i just have to keep my hands off of them!!  So my first day off cigs is tomorrow  and i am going to beat this so please wish me luck as i wish all that are trying to quit this nasty habit!

[hoybabe]

I also live in a house with 2 other smokers but I can still smell the smoke when they sit outside with the windows open. YUCK

[star4]

Yesterday was Day 1 smoke-free!

I'm so glad I found the article on Addiction at whyquit.com. It helped me understand my nicotine addiction.  I now know if I take that first puff - the addiction starts all over. 

Read it - I wish I would have had this information 25 years ago!

[sara17]

this group is FANTASTIC let me tell you. My SO has quit with me numerous times during the course of 2009-- our longest was maybe a month and a half-- then he slipped, and guess what so did I.

We used to smoke in our old apartment, but we moved last September and thankfully we dont smoke in our new place anymore, and there is a deck area where he can go out and smoke.

Ive come to the realization that I need to quit smoking for me, and nobody else, because I know for a fact that hes so caught up in his his addiction that he cant, wont, and doesnt want to stop. not even for me. and you know what, he really needs to do this for himself, just like i am doing this for myself. and if he wants to shorten his life to be with cigarettes than to be with me, then thats his own deal!!

Last July I lost someone very close to me at the age of 42 to smoking related heart problems... and my SO is 35. That scares me to death but it doesnt seem to bother him at all. (I know everybody is different-- but still.) how many smoking related diseases need to occur in loved ones before someone wisens up to what they are doing to their bodies and loved ones...

my maternal grandfather has chronic bronchitis and emphasyma after smoking for probably close to 50 years, my paternal grandmother has had numerous strokes and heart issues due to her smoking addiction.. My own father quit smoking about 3-5 years ago just because he didnt want to end up like his own mother in hospice. And what did I do a year and a half ago? I went and picked up a pack of cigarettes... why!!! ugh i swear im not the brightest crayon in the box sometimes.

well anyways this group is great-- still wish my so would quit but i know better by now!! and at least im thankful that he doesnt smoke in the house!!

[bobbie11]

Just had to let you all know (those with SO's who're still smoking) that my mom, a lifelong smoker, quit cold turkey and never went back.  At the same time, my dad was still smoking 3-4 packs a day (and was retired, so was home all day). Mom quit so that it would be easier for dad to quit, after he'd had 3 heart attacks.  Dad never got the hint, but mom stayed quit for the rest of her life.  Dad finally quit for good after his last heart attack (the 4th), and stayed quit for the rest of his life.  Mom was quit for about 15 years, dad for about 10.  Don't know how she did it. I consider myself lucky that my hubby doesn't smoke, the only one in our family who smokes is my youngest son and his g/f, but he's thinking of joining me in quitting, and at age 21, I think he's smarter than I am.  Don't know if his g/f will try or  not.  Just wanted to let everyone know that it  is possible for one to quit while the other still smokes, but darned if I know how!  I haven't quit yet, and there are no other smokers in the house to tempt me.