Signed up a few days ago and I guess I am lost here

[liz22]

I joined this site two days after I had my last TIA, a week ago. In the beginning I thought it would be a cool place to hang around for a few days, checking the site around until I was ready to take the "quit" more seriously. Well, it has been a week now and I still do not have the courage to do it. I can't stop to blame myself for smoking even after a couple of TIAs and a stroke, but that is the truth. I consider myself an intelligent woman, responsible and mature, but still I have been very irresponsible regarding my own health. Part of me wants to quit but the other part just don't understand how important it is for me to quit right now. The reality is that I don't have the courage to commit myself to pick up a quitting date. And I feel so lost...

[Cindy8]

Hi Liz

I found this site after I quit, so I did not get a chance to try the program. This is the longest quit I have had, and I did not spend alot of time working up to it, but I did try to notice my triggers and get through some of them without smoking before I actually quit.

I would have a least one cup of coffee before I lit up, or not smoke in the car. Get up from the table and allow some time after a meal.

Do not beat yourself up! You are not weak!
No other addiction gets so wound up into our daily lives. I do not think a herion addict thinks, wow, good meal, now I need to shoot up. Or a coke addict thinks, I need to line up my coke, before I get on the computer to work. Yet we associate so many things in our day to day lives with smoking. We have to learn how to be a non-smoker, how not to go for that cigarette at the first sign of discomfort. I have come to realize that every crave I have had for the last two months, has gone away. Some days I was gritting my teeth, some days I was crying. But if I waited the crave did leave. I carried a lighter, even told my husband I was stopping for cigaretts on my way to work. For a week, every gas station I passed was an opportunity that I did not take. I would grip that stearing wheel so hard, taking every ounce of whatever I had in me, not to turn into the driveway. I could picture myself buying a pack, having one and throwing the rest away, Yet I knew I would not do that, I would smoke the whole pack, and be right back where I was 2 months ago. I know I am one puff away from a pack a day, and I do not want to go through this again.

You can do this, take it second by second, then minute by minute, then hour by hour, and eventually it will be better and easier.

Cindy

[andrea15]

I feel lost too. I have had Chronic Bronchitis, and Asthma since the duration of my addiction. And even though I cough a lot and have come close to blowing a bronchial tube I can't seem to stop. My quit date if June 14th. I am excited about it but nervous too. Do you have children Liz? I have one daughter who is 3 years old. Every time I step outside even if it's to get something from my car she asks "You going to smoke?" with a sad look on her face. That right there is showing me that it not only hurts my body but, it hurts her to see her mommy go outside and "smoke" . It is hard. A lot harder than people think. Some say that you should JUST quit, some say just don't think about it. But its more than that. It's an everyday thing. Here is a thought that helped me from a fellow co-worker who recenctly quit. He said "It was so stressful smoking. All day long at work you are thinking, when's my next break, when's lunch, stop talking to me so I can go smoke. Life is so much more stress free without the constant urge to smoke. And plus I smell so much better." I recently took a class in school that made us look at our futures. The professor asked us to visualize our future. For me I visualized my future with and without cigarettes. The first vision was that I had wrinkles all around my lips, my skin looked aged and my daughter was smoking. I seemed very stressed and the thought of me getting cancer scared the shit out of me. My second vision was to say beautiful. I was at the park with my daughter, playing I was happy, energetic and in shape. I wasn't coughing. no lines. In my carreer I saw myself sitting with co-workers at lunch enjoying conversation and not worrying when my next nicotine fix was going to be. Do this exercise Liz, maybe it will help you look deeper to who you really want to be. Stroke's are serious think about that. If you keep smoking in 5 years will you be paralyzed on your whole right side? Will you be able to enjoy the simple pleasures in life? You can do it, you just have to truly believe in yourself, and KNOW you CAN and WILL. Be positive, always think positive and your mind will begin to change your perspectives.

[toni8]

I wish I had something positive to say, but I am struggling, too. My quit date is June 10th. To add a little humor, though..My questionaire stated that I could not even pick a quit date yet because I was too confused so I guess that I confused the questionaire, too. How do you like that?
But here is the conclusion that I came with. On June 10th (my son's 35th birthday) I will attempt to quit. However, if I should slip I know that there are some wonderful people here and they will support me. Sometimes we just have to use the tools that surround us or better still, recognize the tools that we have. I do know that we are our best tools and we need to start with us first. If I should slip and fall on June 10th, I am not going to beat myself up. I am going to keep trying until I get it right and not laden myself with a lot of guilt.