Screaming

[MichelleDiane]

Okay.  Instead of smoking I am screaming.  Person who works with my Autistic daughter cancelled again at the last minute.  Couldn't find a replacement.  Had to cancel afternoon clients because I don't want her to miss her Culinary class again (it is for independent living skills).  Other person who works with my daughter on Thursdays for community outings wants to change her hours and they don't match my daughter's.  And to boot Pearle Vision lost my glasses and lenses, but failed to call me.  I'm not really screaming, but my stomach is.  So frustrated, but just like I said in the text to my husband two minutes ago...not worth smoking over!  And it's not and I won't.  Just saying.

[MichelleDiane]

Thanks so much Kim.  You are a sweetheart.  It has been a rough day and you are correct.  I do have hope, but today it was not easy to find.  I am grateful that this day is over and I did not smoke over it.  I am hopeful that tomorrow will be easier in terms of my family.  Sweet dreams and thanks for the love.

Hugs,

Michelle

[elvan]

Honey, I am SO SORRY.  An older friend of mine told me once that a mother is never happier than her saddest child.  My kids seemed to run in cycles, if two were good, the third was falling apart.  It made me crazy. There were times when my son was in high school that I really was not sure if he was going to harm himself and I walked around on eggshells.  It is a horrible way to live.  There comes a time when kids need to be made aware of the hurt and chaos they are causing in our lives...ALONG with the love and the overwhelming happiness.  My son used to threaten suicide over and over and over again and I was completely worn out.  I remember one morning when he told me that he was going to kill himself.  I looked at him and I said, I cannot be with you 24 hours a day, you know that I love you with all of my heart and that it would hurt me more than you can even imagine.  My daughter was going through a period of time where she was just horrid...I did not even want to be in the same house as her but I took hold of her and I hugged her tightly and I told her that I loved her no matter what and that I understood that she wasn't feeling much love for herself OR for me at that moment.  Those were magical times, I have never forgotten them because at least for a while, things were calmer.  Kids are such gifts and they OWN our hearts.

Saying prayers for you MichelleDiane‌, please remember that tears are okay, they sometimes are the one thing that keeps us from going crazy.  You are a great mom and a great lady, you are doing everything you can to take care of yourself AND your kids...your quit is going to help with BOTH of those things.

Hugs,

Ellen

[MichelleDiane]

Thank you Ellen.  I am getting ready for bed now and am going to try to put this day behind me.  Your story sounds very similar to mine.  As we speak my son is downstairs very calm.  My middle one is sleeping on the couch (have no idea why, but she's happy and content), my third one is up at school and hopefully getting ready for bed (she's still a little angry with me, but c'est la vie).  Thanks for the hugs and I hope your night is happy and peaceful.

Love you much,

Michelle

[elvan]

MichelleDiane‌ May this be a peaceful and sweet weekend for you!

Hugs,

Ellen

[MichelleDiane]

My wishes for the same to you my friend.

Hugs back,

Michelle

[Kimshine]

You did it! Getting through those challenges will make you stronger. Today is going to be a better day! 

[MichelleDiane]

[JonesCarpeDiem]

HEY! I'M TRYING TO SLEEP HERE! 

[MichelleDiane]

Sorry Dale.  I'll try to scream low

[JonesCarpeDiem]

I'm awake now.