Whoo hoo I made it. I celebrated at midnight with my favorite juice and now I am into my 8th day and feeling better. I spent a lot of time reflecting last night and I know that there will be challenges ahead, everyonce and a while I still will get the thought a cigarette would be nice and I remind myself that i do not smoke. I am looking forward to the time when the thoughts do not cross my mind. I remember fondly the 5 years when I did not smoke and I remember that there was actually a time when I did not think about smoking. I now realize why I faltered and now have a plan for dealing with the triggers that got me to smoke that day. I also realize that the reasons quitting really did not stick before was that I was not really committed to quitting as I am now. I was quitting for every other reason except for the ones that really ment the most to me. I was able to not smoke for 3 weeks in April/May because my father who has respritory problems was with me and I did not want to aggirvate his condition, once he left there was no longer a reason to stay quit at least in my mind. I needed something to shake me out of my complatency about smoking. I thought since I lived alone and did not smoke around non smokers I was cool, I was not affecting anyone else until.... I met my new veterinarian. Then I got the shock I needed to quit once and for all. She was blunt with me and put it on the line how I was affecting my pets with my smoking. She told me how sick they would get and how terrible they would die if I did not quit smoking. I was already enrolled in a smoking cessation program that was starting that week at the local VA and until that day I was not truly committed to quitting. That day woke me up and broke my heart. I had considered myself a good pet owner until that day. I always feed my pets the best foods and take special care of them. I realized that I was killing the very animals that gave me their love unconditionally and could not look myself in the face in the mirror. Now I am a respoonsible pet owner and more determined than ever never, never to touch another cigarette as long as I live. It is not worth loosing what means the most to me in my life. My animals. I know if I remind myself daily why I do not smoke and not be afraid to lean on others who have the same issues I will last a lifeitme.
