Reality Check for Day 4

[cydwallace]

Hello!  I am on Day 3 of my quit.  I chose to quit when I would be out of town on business and so it has been easy (relatively speaking) to avoid smoking situations.  I go home tomorrow morning.  My husband smokes.  He is trying to cut back, and we have never smoked in our house or cars, but he smokes.  I am very nervous about staying the course.  He is not a blockhead, he knows not to smoke around me; but I will smell it on him, and I will know.  Any tried and true tips?

Thanks!

[biscuit9]

@cydwallace  Stay true to your committment.  Stay true to the vow you made to your body and your health, to quit this unhealthy addiction.  LEAD the way and hope that your husband will follow your determined example.  Make a plan now, for what you will do when an urge does comes along.  When you smell nicotine on him (or anyone else), what will your plan be?  Will you grab a hard candy, pick up a good smelling candle, light an incense, go make a flavored drink, walk around the block, blow through a straw?  You are already giving thought to this, which is wonderful.  For an addict, one puff always leads to another, but you have CHOSEN your health and wellbeing.  

[Barbscloud]

@cydwallace Super congrats on 3 days of success.  There will be many challenges on this journey.  I know isn't easy living with a smoker, but remember it's your quit, no one else's.  One plus is that a burning cigarette may still smell good, the stale smell on someone else is awful.

It's not to late too educate yourself about nicotine and create a quit plan. Along with the support of fellow quitters these two steps has meant success for many smokers. 

This link is a great lace to start. Learn how to identify your triggers, the tools you'll use, creating new associations instead of smoking, etc. 

https://www.becomeanex.org/guides/?cid=footer_community_linktobex

Make the commitment and you can do this too.  We're here to support you on your journey.  So reach out anytime you need help, want to share your experience or to support fellow quitters. We're all in this together.

Start your day by taking the Daily Pledge.  It's a great way to stay on track on day at a time.

Stay busy and stay close.  You got this!!!

Barb

[maryfreecig]

Sounds like you appreciate that your husband is doing what he can to not make it harder for you as you quit. Also sounds like you respect that this is your quit, he won't be joining you. Tips and tricks--do anything you have to--including biting into a lemon as some around here often suggest as a quick way to stop sneaky smoking thoughts. 

Ex is here too. Feel free to write again about this once you've returned home and faced "reality." Getting comfortable with quitting takes time, give yourself all the positive feedback you can muster or find each day.

[McMoney]

I don't have any advice for this but I hope when he comes in smelling like smoke you find it repulsive. I hope it is the opposite of seductive or alluring. Imagine the scent as a stained yellow nasty cloud around him. No offense to your husband! I just hope your reaction is unfavorable! SMOKING STINKS! 

[champsin97]

It makes it a little harder.  My exwife smoked when I quit the last time.  You just have to stay focused on your quit.  Like McMoney said,  smelling stale smoke on someone isn't very pleasent and should not lure you back in.  Stay strong!

[cydwallace]

Thank you all.  All wise words and I am grateful for your responses.  I've been home since about 11:30 this  morning.  It is now almost 2.  He has not smoked since I've been home and I'm sure he's probably ready to run out the back door and so far, I'm totally ok if he does.  I have plans for me while he is doing his thing and maybe it won't be so fun now that there isn't anyone to socialize with on the patio.  I am resolute, and while I'm still struggling with cravings, I have a plan to deal with them so I'm not in a panic.  Just need to keep my guard up.  Here is to a successful day four/five (I quit 10AM on Sunday) and to the rest of the time I have left here.

[Barbscloud]

@cydwallace Congrats  on 4 days of success.   That's fabulous.  Remember these early stages of quitting are temporary.  You're confidence will grow every day.   Glad he's trying to support you!

Barb

[JACKIE1-25-15]

There are some others like this one. Use the search engine and type in key words liks spouse smokes, partnere smokers etc.  https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/t5/Support/Quitting-when-spouse-smokes/m-p/275510#M125338

@Education is the key to a successful quit. Read Study

[Barbscloud]

@cydwallace How are you doing?

Barb