Give and get support around quitting
We do this blog every Monday to offer encouragement and camaraderie to those in No Man’s Land -- months 2-3-4 of a quit and for those between NML and the 6% club (1 year of a quit). Regardless of how long you’ve been quit, anyone who likes the conversation and wants to offer support is welcome to participate!
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This week’s topic: Are you in No Man’s Land?
Are you about a month into your quit? Are you feeling a little down, a little lost? Don’t fret – you’re entering No Man’s Land, the 100 days that start at the end of your first month.
The first month of a quit is emotional and exhausting; you’re living in the moment and focusing all of your energy on your brand new quit. Around the one-month mark, things start to change, and you spend the next 100 days or so in a place called “No Man’s Land.”
In No Man’s Land, you’ve come a long way, but still have a long way to go. The routine cravings are gone but the surprise cravings can really catch you off guard. Your family and friends think you should be “over it” while you still feel quite fragile sometimes. Your relationships with smoking friends/family may be feeling strained. Your inner junkie is still around, still whispering to you, and the temptation to give in can be overwhelming at times.
But here’s the good news. In these same 100 days, for most people, your circulation has improved substantially, walking has become easier, and your overall lung function has increased noticeably. Sinus congestion, fatigue, and shortness of breath have decreased. Your body's overall energy has increased. The roller coaster is smoothing out, and you are feeling calmer and stronger overall. Good things are happening!
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If you're in NML or an In-betweener right now, give a shout! Reach out and find each other!
Click here to read Dale’s helpful blog about No Man’s Land:https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex/blog/2011/05/24/no-mans-land-days-30-to130-appr...
Click here to read what to expect in the first four months: /blogs/jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007-blog/2011/06/26/what-to-expect-in-the-first-four-months
Checking in here will help you get through NML and on your way to the first year where you can celebrate being in the 6% Club and graduate to eventually become an Elder!
Please let me know if you are interested in posting the NML Weekly Check In. I am happy to continue it, share it, or pass it to the nEXt EXer in NML who is ready, willing, and able.
On day 29 as well MichelleDiane. Gets easier everyday... and ty rollercoaster u are always a savior love reading your posts as well.
I can definitely say it gets easier lauralee66. Still takes work, but not as bad as the first week. Today will be 30 days WON. Make it a great smoke free day.
Michelle
Way to go! Keep working on it I'm behind you 🙂 I am working on day 6. I need people like you to keep me motivated 🙂 Keep On Keepin On!!!
oh my God. You just reminded me that I haven't even started my taxes yet. Thanks for the reminder. I am also in no man's land. 100 + days of freedom. But still have very strong urges sometimes.
Gma_Bernie Those craves WILL weaken. I haven't started taxes either...oh dear God, I HATE taxes. I so wish I understood how to do them myself but it costs me a fortune to get them done because my husband has a "business"..I put that in quotes because it hasn't earned any income in a VERY long time...BUT the taxes have to be filed and are so LOOOOONG!
Ellen,
Today I had a complete meltdown. I ended up in bed crying so hard I can
hardly breathe. I got myself into the tizzy, ie, a panic attack so that it
really did have trouble breathing. I had a very successful brunch for my
granddaughter's birthday and afterwards my son and my daughter went for a
walk to the local coffee shop. I knew they were going to have a cigarette.
It's the first warm day of spring today. I don't know if it was a
combination of the warm weather and the image of them strolling down the
street smoking or what. I completely lost it. And I have not found it yet.
I am still crying and this happened hours ago. I miss it so much! Why after
so long? It's been 103 days since I took a puff. I did not expect this. I
had a similar meltdown only in smaller proportion last weekend. The thought
of never smoking again fills me with Terror. I feel so alone! I know you
are all out there. Please hear me. I hope this does not last very long. I
cannot endure another day like this. I am going to bed.
Hi Gma_Bernie I'm at day 139 and would have sold one of my kids for a smoke a few times this week. It's gonna happen for the rest of our lives but fewer and farther between. I rely on the words of the elders that craves WILL get easier. Most of mine are just passing thoughts but the ones this week were powerful. Remember your daily pledge, it helps me because I don't make promises unless I'm pretty darn sure I can keep it barring unforeseen circumstances. Try to stay grounded and pledge again in your mind if it might help. You got this quit. NML is when we need to practice the methods that will keep us quit.
Julie
Thank you Julie. It doesn't get any harder than it got today. If I had been
alone I would have gone to the store and bought cigarettes. I think my
situation is detailed in my response to Ellen's post to me. So I won't Bore
You by repeating it. But I so missed smoking today. Not the actual smoking
I think, but the comradery of smoking with others, especially my kids. I
found out one of them doesn't smoke anymore, so actually it was just one of
them that was smoking. And I wasn't there. I was just imagining being
there. Isn't that crazy? I guess there is not much that isn't crazy about
this addiction. I thank you so much for taking the time to respond to me. I
haven't been on the site much because I Was preparing for this big brunch I
had today. When it was over I collapsed. Emotionally it felt like poison
running through my veins, the thought of not having a cigarette. But it was
just the opposite! Life is sure crazy.
On Sat, Mar 17, 2018, 8:52 AM minihorses <communityadmin@becomeanex.org>
Greetings All...Checking in. Week 2 in NML and it was the toughest day I've had in a couple of weeks. I'm not sleeping well so I'm super grouchy. EVERYONE and EVERYTHING in my office was annoying me this morning so I had to pull out all the stops: deep breathing, took a walk around the building, ate a small bag of carrots, read some blogs...oh and I did some work, too...LOL.
I still feel anxious but I'm determined to remain QUIT. I know that nothing will change if I smoke. NOPE, NOPE, NOPE, NOPE.
Sandi 37DOF
Don't give in now Sandi, you've worked hard to get here! I'm still up and down emotionally as well. My theory is that we defined ourselves by smoking and when we willingly took it away our brain is like "WTH! Where's my best friend and why are you keeping them away from me?" which leads to the grouchies. But it's just a theory. I hope your day gets better and that the rest of the week brings the joy of accomplishment every day you stay free from the demon. Congratulations on being in No Man's Land!
Julie 92 DOF