My husband smokes and I am desperately trying to quit

[lisanicole750]

i quit for 4 months earlier this year.  I was feeling great.  But then my husband and I went on vacation.  We drove to Wyoming which is about 17 hours away from us.  On the third day I caved and had a cigarette.  I am so disappointed in myself but I also know this is part of the process.  I set a new quit date for 10/3.  I am looking forward to quitting.  But I’m scared that I will fail again because my husband smokes.  He doesn’t smoke in the house which I appreciate but he will smoke if we are going out to dinner or spending time outside together.  Then I feel like I am fighting with the demon again.  Does anyone have any tips/suggestions?  It is much appreciated!!

[MarilynH]

Welcome lisanicole750 to the site read everything you can right here about quitting smoking and Remaining Quit because there's a wealth of information to strengthen your resolve to kick the nicotine poison to the curb and start living a life of Freedom, you can and will be successful one precious smoke free day at a time or one minute or even one second at a time but you need to believe in yourself, be willing, determined and totally committed to succeed. Unfortunately quitting smoking is an individual choice but once you start your day One on the 3rd of October and that first evening you can say YAY for DAY WON and every evening it's another DAY WON your husband may join you but at least he's not smoking inside so you need to choose to quit and then stick to it because you can. N. O. P. E.  - Not One Puff Ever will give you a beautiful smoke free life because S.I.N.A.O  - Smoking Is Not An Option. They'll be others along that will post links for you to read which will help prepare you for your precious upcoming quit. 

[lisanicole750]

Thank you.

Sent from my iPhone

[bonniebee]

First I would say do not be afraid to quit because of a fear of failure you already acknowledged that it is a process .I tried at least 5 or 6 times before I got to where I am today ( about 957 days of freedom ) Never give up trying and you will succeed ! 

I live with a smoker ,not my partner but friend, and we have shared a home for 21 years now . At one time I thought I would never make it living with a smoker .One time she left and went to Forida for a few months while she was gone I quit smoking and I was doing well , I had about 2 months in when she returned. I already felt I was going to fail before she even arrived and guess what  ? The very first disagreement we had I was lighting up did not even make it one week after she returned  ! I know now that I set myself up for failure by my very negative thinking ! 

This time I found Ex and even though she smokes in the house all the time I was able to overcome mainly because I decided it was my quit not hers,it was my decision to quit not hers, and I ,made the commitment to do it ! You can too ! 

Learn what you can from your past failed quits ,what worked what didn't etc . It is  journey with the help of Ex quitting was so much easier for me . I Learned how to think positive I did not even realize how powerful that can be !  

P.S. I thank God and Ex for auto save because I just lost this post and it was saved !

                  

[lisanicole750]

Thank you so much for responding.  I am keeping a journal to help through the process.  A list of reasons to quit.  The last couple of years I’ve really started to feel the effects off poisoning my body everyday for the last 20 years.  Thank you for your support!!! 

[JACKIE1-25-15]

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/community/expert-advice/blog/2017/06/21/quitting-when-you-live-wi... 

Welcome to EX.   If you hang around you will find that quitting is doable, many of us have.  Look forward to a new day and a new way.  It is up to you. You have come to the right place for a new day and a rebirth. This is all about you and what you are willing to do to be smoke free. Quitting smoking requires hard work.  It can be challenging at times but you will learn that it is doable if you adhere to NOPE not one puff ever no matter what. Start first, by educating yourself about nicotine addiction.  Education is the key to a successful quit.  Read: Freedom from Nicotine My Journey Home and Nicotine Addiction 101         

Here are the links: http://whyquit.com/whyquit/LinksAAddiction.html   and http://whyquit.com/ffn/

I also encourage you to read. Allen Carr’s book, “Easy Easier Way to Quit Smoking”.       

The link is here:  http://media.wix.com/ugd/74fa87_2010cc5496521431188f905b7234a829.pdf

 Go to http://www.becomeanex.org/how-to-quit-smoking.php#thl and get started. 

[elvan]

Welcome to EX...there are many things that will be said and that will help you immensely, I am too tired tonight to go over them but I wanted to advise you to put a little dab of Vicks under your nose when your husband smokes and don't envy him for smoking, he HAS to smoke, he is addicted...of course, so are you but you are doing something about it.  This is not an event, it is a journey and it is one day at a time, when a day is too long, make it an hour or a minute...one step at a time and baby steps count.  The more prepared you are, the better, education, support, and commitment will give you a successful quit.  Stay close to the site.

Ellen

[Sootie]

Welcome---It's difficult when a spouse or anyone you live with still smokes. You tend to have little rituals that you do connected with smoking and you don't necessarily want to lose the rituals.....just the smoking! The only way out is through. You just need to prepare yourself that you are going to feel this way.....you are going to want a cigarette...whether because of your husband or some other trigger....you just are. Be honest with yourself that for awhile....life will not be comfortable because you are out of your norm. GET THROUGH IT!  You can do this because we all did and we are no different from you. Please do all the reading suggested and I especially like whyquit.com because they have articles related to every topic you could think of........and probably about spouses who smoke. Keep in touch on this site.....it is the BEST SUPPORT you will ever get for quitting. Reach out if you need help.

Stay Strong.

[Mandolinrain]

Really hard to add anything of value to whats already been said. I feel for you. I have a neighbor who's in the same boat as you. I will tell you what I tell her......If you base your decision of weakness to remain a smoker because you live with the smoker, then your probably right, and you won't quit... This decision to quit is not his battle to win, it is yours.  

Hundreds of addicted people have quit smoking while living with a smoker and you can to. I have other friends who have and truthfully, they will tell you the initial first week is no different than our first week. I had to be around smokers a lot when I quit myself. When I finally wanted to quit more than I wanted to smoke, I looked at them with more pity than I did jealousy. There smoking did not influence me. The addiction in my body did. Thats what I had to learn to control.

Maybe that helped me more than I thought? Give it a try and welcome to this site. Hope we see you around a lot.

Take time to truly understand the addictiom. Therein lies the key to your freedom.