I decided on Sunday February 14th I wasn't going to smoke anymore cigarettes. I told my husband on Friday the 12th I was thinking about it and had smoked 2 cigarettes that day and one on Saturday. I generally smoke anywhere between 4 and 10 cigarettes a day, depending on what I'm doing that day, if I'm drinking any alcohol or smoking anything else. It wasn't difficult to stop because I have had this lower respiratory infection for almost 2 weeks and my cough had gotten so bad I was out of breath most of the time anyway, not wanting a cigarette.
I think I started to try cigarettes when I was 14. I did it with my friends because my parents and their parents did it so we thought it was cool and helped with stress. I don't think I started smoking everyday until I was 16 or 17. I'm 25 now. The hardest thing for me right now is I don't feel like I want to quit. I have almost a full pack in my car, and I don't plan on smoking any of it, but I'm not ready to throw them away. I also don't want to break my streak. Another hard thing is I am also quitting daily marijuana because I don't think I can smoke without needing a cigarette as well. The same goes for alcohol. I know I'm only 4-6 days in, but I'm not having that difficult of a time when it comes to physical withdrawal. It's the emotional and psychological part for me. I don't know what to do with my time. I miss getting off of my 12 hour shift at the hospital and getting high then smoking cigarettes on the patio for an hour to get rid of the day. And I'm preemptively missing other moments where I'll want a cigarette. I'm terrified of No Man's Land and it taking more than 4 months to kick this. I know I need to sit down and write out reasons why I want to quit but I don't feel like I have any. I am also PMSing so I'm emotional. The odds just feel like they are stacked against me for this first 2 weeks, and then I read that it continues to be hard for 4 months after the fact.. honestly I'm just bullheaded and proud that I've made it 4 whole days without smoking, and that's why I don't want another.
I wanted to make this post to vent, maybe get a quitting friend or at least someone I can talk to, and have something to look back on later as I continue through this journey.
Thanks for coming to my Ted talk.
My name is karlee and I'm addicted to cigarettes and marijuana.
'Til next time
