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Give and get support around quitting

acway
Member

My Introduction

I just turned 29, I've been smoking/vaping for 12 years, and I have been hiding my nicotine addiction from everyone in my life - everyone who would disapprove anyway.  This is the first time I've reached out, which makes me think that it's a promising start.  I cry when I think of all the things smoking has taken from me: a big secret from my family and the guilt along with that, my gums are receding, and I'm spending so much money on this addiction.  

I'm able to do anything else in my life when I put my mind to it, but smoking has a hold on me for so long.  Quit date is March 25th.  I'm sure there will be great people on this forum to encourage me, because I need a community to beat this.

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7 Replies
YoungAtHeart
Member

Welcome!

Smoking has a hold on you because it is a two part addiction -physical and psychological.  Read on to understand it!

The important thing you can do right now is to educate yourself on what nicotine does to your body and mind. To that end, I highly recommend Allen Carr's “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.”    You can search for it online or at your local library.  Here is a video to inform you further about nicotine addiction: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpWMgPHn0Lo&feature=youtu.be.

 

Let me know if you decide to use a quit aid.  I personally prefer that people use aids that don't let the addict control the dose such as Rx drugs or the patch.

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It will be informative if you do the tracking and separation exercises recommended here on the site. As you track each cigarette smoked, note its importance, and what you might do instead. Put each one off just a little to prove that you don't NEED a cigarette just because you think you do.
 

The idea is to change up your routines so the smoking associations are reduced.  Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand in a place different from when you smoked. Maybe switch to tea for a bit.  If you always had that first smoke with your coffee, try putting your tennies on right out of bed, going for a quick walk, then taking your shower and THEN your coffee! .  Take a different route to work. Take a quick walk at break time where the smokers AREN'T.
 
You need to distract yourself through any craves.  You can take a bite out of a lemon (yup - rind and all), do a few jumping jacks, go for a brisk walk or march in place, play a computer game.  Keep a cold bottle of water with you. Don't let that smoking thought rattle around in your brain unchallenged. You might visit “Games”: https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/games. The active ones are at the top of the list going down the left side of the homepage. We have a weekly Trivia Contest you might like to try, too: https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/games/blog/2021/02/23/trivia-tuesday-02232021  Here is a link to a list of things to do instead of smoke if you need some fresh ideas:
 https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2013/02/25/100-things-to-do-instea...


The conversation in your head in response to the "I want a cigarette" thought needs to be, "Well, since I have decided not to do that anymore, what shall I do instead for the three minutes this crave will last?"  Then DO it.  You will need to put some effort into this in the early days, but it gets easier and easier to do.


Stay close to us here and ask questions when you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way!


 Nancy

JACKIE1-25-15
Member

Congratulations on making the decision to quit smoking. It is good that you have made this decision at age 29.  Welcome to EX you have come to the right place for support to quit smoking/vaping. It is all a nicotine addiction, whether you are vaping smoking chewing, dipping  it is just a different device Education is the key to a successful quit.  We will help you on your journey. Quitting is doable.  So many of us have. It is very important to read the material and suggestions offered by YoungAtHeart‌.

.  I would start at the education of nicotine addiction and make a plan of how you are going to about it.  Whether you are going cold turkey or use NRT's Nicotine Replacement Therapy medication is a good start. If you go to My EX Plan | BecomeAnEX  review the videos and track when and why you vape.  Just replace the word smoking with vaping.  Also, you can follow this link Quitting E-cigarettes | Guides & Tools | BecomeAnEX is more specific.  I also researched other websites for info www.whyquit.com was one of them. Read Nicotine 101 and Journey to Freedom.  There are EXcellent articles to read here.  If you have questions you can use the magnifying glass top right corner and enter a key word to research. Community Help  is the link to help find your way around the site. Stay close read, study, ask questions and again Welcome to EX.  We are here to support you.  

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RoseH
Member

It isn't a matter of just slapping on a patch or chewing nicotine gum…  Every behavior you can think of is tied to your smoking.  When you were happy, sad, mad, hurt, tired, sick, bored... etc.

 

Take a day to make a plan.  Get creative and really think about it.  Some folks have to use nicotine gum, or a patch.  Both are NRTs (Nicotine Replacement Therapy)  I quit “Cold Turkey” and read Allen Carr’s book, “The Easy Way to Quit Smoking.” 

 

Have some Licorice Sticks to 'smoke'.  Or a cut up a straw into thirds...  especially during high trigger times like driving.  Sometimes it feels good to just hold something in your smoking hand.

Grab your favorite CDs or tapes to put in your car so you can put one in and sing out loud.  My favorite was dancing and singing at the same time.  Your brain cannot do a 3rd thing, so thinking about smoking just disappears  🙂

 

To keep your mind and hands busy, go to a local arts/crafts store and look for things to do.  Buy something that interests you; rug hooking kits, scrapbooking stuff, or Christmas stocking kits for the grandkids.  Or, get some coloring books and colored pencils or felt tip pens.  Adult coloring books are available now.

 

Make baggies of crunchy foods to satisfy your mouth so they are at work and handy to grab...  Carrots, celery, Chex mix, pretzel sticks (you can hold those like a cig). They need to be ready to just grab at any given time.

 

Make a list of everything that needs to be done, or you want to do around the house.  Go through each room and write down everything from cleaning out drawers and closets to painting, rearranging or redecorating.  Do the same with the garage and yard work...  Once you have your list, break it down into 5-15 minutes segments so nothing becomes overwhelming.

 

This is important!  When you are craving and really shaky, post “HELP” and wait for at least 3 response posts before you smoke.  Most times, you will be fine once you read the posts (keeps you from dwelling).  If not...post again and wait for 3 more...]  NEVER keep butts at hand! Drown em!  Then you have to make that awful decision to go and buy some…  You will hate yourself if you cave!

 

Once you have all these things figured out you will be well prepared to handle anything, and you don't even have to think...just look at your list…  Keep 1 copy at work, 1 at home, 1 in your purse or wallet, 1 in the car.   If you did one day, you can do 2.  If you did 3, you can do one more.

 

No future tripping. You can't do a darn thing about tomorrow until it gets here. Today is a good time to quit but if you feel you can't, then take tomorrow to put together your Quit Kit and quit the day after.  Don't set a quit date out there for 2 weeks, 1 month, etc. All you do is make yourself crazy in your head by stressing over that date.  Having support here is the key to success!  It's so much better to quit together!  Rosemary

This is the Quit Kit from the old Quitnet.com   Hope it helps you form a simple plan to quit.

Acway, I know it all seems like a lot and may be overwhelming but just do your best to read what you can and do what works for you. I will say, more you know better equipped you will be. One thing for sure: throw out everything and do not keep anything in the house. The thoughts like “but it was expensive” or “if I fail I’ll need it again” or you’re keeping it to give it to someone else. You cannot keep them in the house. The temptation is too much. And, it’s almost like you’re saying you’ll fail even before you start. Commit! You can do it with your strong desire and commitment! We’re all rooting for you!

maryfreecig
Member

Welcome to Ex. Thanks for telling your story. Sounds like you have a great start in preparing to quit. You've set a goal to change and that really matters so much--because you are choosing. No matter how unclear your path forward seems right now, you will find your way one step at a time.

Barbscloud
Member

Welcome to the Ex.  Use this time to read material on the site.  Education and preparation can help to achieve a success.  We're here to support you on your journey.  Just reach out anytime you need encouragement or a want to share your experience.  Look forward to celebrating with you on the 25th!

Barb

DavesTime
Member

From a (former) closet smoker who hid it from my family and most people in my life for decades, I know all about the guilt, the fear of being discovered, and the hold that smoking/nicotine has on us. I just want to let you know that you CAN quit.  You can be free of your addiction and of the burden of your secret.  You have some great suggestions from other people.  Having this community made all the difference for me. We are your biggest cheerleaders. Glad you are here!

Dave

2.5 years of freedom and counting