From a mindfulness perspective, both pessimism and optimism are states of mind introduced into the present moment, but neither accurately describes what is happening now. They represent our expectations or predictions for what will happen in the future, based on our perception of past experiences. In a way, they are both useless. We don't know what's going to happen in the future! And, whether we embrace optimism or pessimism, it says more about our personal past than what the future holds.
Despite their inherent inaccuracy, these attitudes profoundly influence our experience in the present. If I am pessimistic, then I will give voice to the naysayer within and feel jaded. If I am optimistic, then I feel happy and hopeful. Psychological research has consistently demonstrated the inter-relationship between our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. If you think that you will fail, then you will feel sad and give voice to the critic within. If you feel happy, then you will be more prone to think that you will succeed.
So, what to do? Do You remain pessimistic and cynical in the present in order to prepare for some future disappointment? Or do you cultivate optimism and become inspired for future success?
I think it's time to give hope a chance! Here are four new spins on some good old stand bys!
Old school: Find the Silver Lining
New school: Collect Positive Evidence from Your Past
On those days when one thing after another goes wrong (like Gnu's car covered with crud, broken toilet, stinky weather and burned up pie crust) it can be hard to find a positive spin. It's in these moments that it can be more effective to travel back in time and remember all the ways life has worked in your favor. Optimism isn't just about seeing the upside to situations right now....it's also about realizing that so many things in life already were going your way. When you can collect positive experiences from memory lane, it helps counter the negative beliefs that are rooted in your subconscious. This starts to create new positive patterns in the brain!
Old school: Stop and smell the roses
New school: Be a magnet for positive
Given how much for juggling we all do, we often don't have time to pause and appreciate the positive little happenings in our day. But if we prime ourselves the night before, we will be more likely to notice good things the next day. Before falling asleep at night, take note of all the positives in your day and remind yourself that "tomorrow will bring many pleasant surprises"! Focus on tiny moments in the beginning. Once you start noticing one small thing, it will get easier, and soon you'll be seeing two or three things until seeing the positive becomes a new state of mind.
Old school: Keep a gratitude journal
New school: Write a "letter to me"
You've all heard about the power of keeping a gratitude journal, but the positive feelings this practice brings fade fast. It turns out we need to make the exercise a little more personal. Optimism is as much about having a belief in yourself as it is about believing good things are going to happen. This feeling that 'I'm optimistic about myself' is really underdeveloped in most people. Practice this "letter to me" approach to build self esteem and promote an optimistic outlook. When writing in your gratitude journal, include three things you did today that you are proud of. And ask yourself, What do these things say about me? They might say you're a good listener, or you communicate well or that you're very compassionate. When you do this, you're going to gain a better understanding of all the good qualities you have and it will give you reason to trust in your own ability to handle anything.
Old school: Tune out negative thoughts
New school: Ask "Is that really true?"
We know negative thoughts only add to your stress and anxiety when troublesome situations arise. Yet, the more you try to tune them out, the more they seem to crop up. The subconscious drives negative thinking. If you say, "I have to think positive, I have to think positive," without countering these negative patterns, you're going to get frustrated. The best alternative is to listen to your negative thought and then ask yourself, "Is that really truth?". Just asking the question gives you a reality check. If you feel your negative thought really is true then you can ask yourself,"Does this thought serve me?" Obviously you would say no and then you have the opportunity to find two or three positive thoughts that can help you look at the situation differently. This exercise helps you get into the habit of shifting your perspective away from the negative and toward the positive.
Example:
Negative thought, "I'm going to stop and buy some cigarettes!"
Ask, "Is it really truth?" ..... Of course it's not truth, it is only a thought/projection and not a reality!
Ask, "Does this thought serve me?".... Of coarse not, negative thoughts don't serve you and it is counter to your goal!
Find the positive thoughts, "I am capable of not listening to the addiction."/"I will go home and blog about this."/ "I know how to find and use support."
