Living with A Smoker

[mrs.-u]

My husband is a smoker, and we have "smoking room" in the house. Last time I tried to quit, I avoided the smoking room. That didn't work. Instead of just giving up smoking, I was giving up everything in the room (including our computer) and spending time with my husband. Anyone have any suggestions? Anyone else living with a smoker and have advice?

[val_b]

sounds like the computer users may need to spend diff time in the room if possible, so you can get off to a good start with your quit. and maybe your hubby will compromise with you, by not smoking when you want to spend time with him. You can ask him to help you have a successfull quit this time. I hope this help.

[mrs.-u]

Thanks for all the input. I tried telling my husband he needed to start smoking outside. He agreed at the time, but then when it came to me asking him to do it, his mood at changed. I don't know that it is worth the fighting over it. I mean the last thing you need when you are trying to quit smoking is extra stress! I have been working on spending time in the room without smoking, which I think will help. I haven't gotten as far as not smoking in there all together though. That's a pretty good idea. We do have an air purifier in there. You all have lots of good ideas. Maybe I just need to try talking to him about it again, discussing some of our options and come to a mutual agreement. Maybe this time I should get our agreement in writing! 🙂

I am hoping that after I have successfully quit, it will inspire my husband to do the same!

[mrs.-u]

How frustrating! I tried to talk to my husband about the smoking situation. He always just seems annoyed. He says that he will do whatever. But he also asked "when are you planning on doing this?" and then the eyes roll. I guess I have just been unsuccessful so many times, that I think he is giving up on me being able to do it! He says he wants to be supportive. But sometimes it just doesn't seem like he real does or if he does he just isn't trying very hard!

[cindy25]

Okay. Don't get frustrated at him. He is addicted to smoking just like you. YOU stop smoking in that room entirely. Smoke outside if you need to- just not in that room. He will notice. It won't be long before he begins to think you may be serious about this after all! It will also make his smoking more "noticeable" to you both. He can decide when he will actually support you or not. You take charge and be a nonsmoker in that room. You can do this. Your quit is not about him. Just step outside!

[mrs.-u]

You are right. This is about me. Not about him. Thankfully, I have found this group full of people who are always willing to provide support! Previously my husband was my only support system so when his support waivered everything fell apart. Now I have a bigger support system, and I also realize that I am the one doing this, and I need to be my biggest supporter!

[cindy25]

Way to change your attitude! Being a couple is like dancing- when one moves the other has to move too, in some direction -or you fall over. He may move in the direction opposite of yours for awhile, but eventually (if he wants to Tango!) - he'll move with you. Take the lead! Teach him to Tango! Who knows, maybe eventually you will both be smoke free....

[mrs.-u]

Thank you for the support and the inspiration!

[mysteriousstran]

I'm trying to convince my gf to smoke out side. I just can't tollerate the smell after i quit. I want it too bad. She had yet to comply, but i think that having a non smoking household is the best way to go.

[brenda15]

Anyone have any advice on how to deal with the smell of cigs on your spouce when your trying to quit? Last time I quit we quit togeather and he didnt smell ,then he started smoking again at first I could handle it cuz he was smoking roll your owns (and they just smell bad) but then he switched to name brands and they smelled real good. after a while I just couldnt take it anymore and asked for one. now Im here trying to quit again......