Just Quit, and now who am i?

[robert22]

its so funny, for so long i totally identified myself as a smoker and now that i am not, alot of my identity is gone too. it seems like all my social anxieties were satisfied with a cig. now its almost as if i cant even tell a story without getting off track for lack of cigarette in my hand.

[meg3]

that is crap and will pass. Trust me--- social anxiety CANT be beat with a cig when in most places you have to exit the social atmosphere to go smoke outside, often alone. Many people do not smoke now and the US is not smoker friendly so it is becoming anti-social to smoke. Good luck to you : )

[robert22]

i don't agree with you, social anxiety, which is a mental thing, CAN be beat with a cigarette, which also is mostly mental, and although you are right, it will pass, it doesn't negate the initial pang of want when im uncomfortable

[raychel]

Sounds good!

[robert22]

let's keep each other posted !!!

[raychel]

The "now who am I" part stuck out to me so much... I've been sitting back wondering this today.

I lament the cigarette, the nicotine, the addiction.... but at times miss the predictability that it gave my world. In fact anything I miss about smoking...isn't actually about the smoking *heh*

But anyways...
Maybe that is what stuck out to me in the ex commercials...relearning life w/o smoking...it spoke to me. From practice quits I know it is a process of relearning to do this w/o being a smoker.

That is why it seems like a great time to start new habits as well, redefine life in a way...
The part of me that related to smoking is gone. I have to deal with it that.

I have no solutions for you at this moment, probably b/c I am in the same place that you are, but just know that you aren't alone in this feeling and we'll get it figured out.

[raychel]

The cigarette can become a distraction to keep us from dealing with what we are really feeling, such as being uncomfortable. It can create something to fixate on. But if you think about it, you are also getting a chance to create a more healthy social you as well because you will be able to fully engage in these situations now instead of relying on the cigarette to be the crutch to get you through it!

Your last comment is very honest, identifying a very real trigger for you. Being uncomfortable.

One very lovely thing about quitting and confronting triggers, is learning things about ourselves. Situations no longer require the crutch of the cigarette, but require us to deal with them the way non addicts do.

Whenever you feel that pang of want when you are uncomfortable, try to focus on the positive of the situation, that you are able to stretch your wings a bit and try out a new version of you.

[manofsteele]

Robert,

social anxiety can be beat with a cigarette ??? i know you mean it but i hope one day you will see how sad that sounds...

smokers aren't cool ...no one looks up to smokers smokers are losers and I was a "Loser" for many years myself

why do you think is great to be identified with being a "Loser"....why would that make you feel proud?

Winners dont smoke ... smoking never makes you wealthier does it?....healthier? .... smarter? ...... smell better?

maybe one day you might gain enough confidence not being controlled by a tiny cylinder shaped object that you feel as akward as you felt being a Loser ....

it is a new way of thinking .... you will have to make changes .... your body hates being poisoned.... you will be a better person when you are smoke free no mater what your personality is now ....

understand why you are quiting ...and stop romancing something that wants you to kill you.... a real slow death...

it is not your friend ..... never was ...it just lied to you and is stabbing you in the back every chance it gets...

i have over 4 years smoke free after smoking 2+ packs for to many years .... you will enjoy the freedom .... embrace freedom and your new smoke free life .... its better than chemo, radiation, hospital visits, sucking air through tubes or smelling like crap the rest of your life...

I have a few groups on here that might help you change your attitude and help keep you smoke free for a long time and you are invited to see if any of these groups might help you and your journey ...

http://community.becomeanex.org/group/dailypledge

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Daily Pledge - Quit Party Central - Relapse Traps
Game Room Quit Reasons - Thanks and Praise
Tough Luv - Words of Wisdom - Find a Quit Buddy
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Great Reading - http://www.tobacco-facts.info/
For a Free Quit Keeper - http://dedicateddesigns.com/qk/

YOU CAN DO IT ... we can help .....just ask !
5.4 Million die due to smoking related causes every year.
That's 2000 times a 9/11

Peace !

[john-pugh]

I can Identify with the man. It is a tough thing he has admitted, and just being into my 12th day, I know exactly where he is coming from. That 1st day that I actually made up my mind that I was going to go on without them was a biggie.
Somewhere between 6, and now. I really don't know what advice to give, except every little thing, and every little moment that you actually feel normal, hold on to it. I've excepted the fact that I have to RE-LEARN HOWEVER LONG IT TAKES. Hey look on it as an Adventure. Every day is

JOHN

[connie2]

Man of Steele is right!!! Smoking IS NOT COOL!!! When I was "younger" it used to socially acceptable and there was a "glam" to smoking. It used to be considered somewhat sophisticated, then it was cool, but now it's just STUPID. When I look back at the years on just money alone that I spent for crap that is gonna kill me or dibilitate me in some way, I'm disgusted with myself. To be socially accepted in today's society by a "smoker" is unheard of since most of society is against smoking or becoming a non-smoking society. If you are feeling comfortable with a cigarette around people, that will eventually turn and you will be the minority where people will look at you and find you unacceptable because you smoke. That is UNCOMFORTABLE. Don't cave into the social aspects of smoking. It's all a lie!!!