Is it strange not to want to keep count?

[MichelleDiane]

I'm not sure how I feel about counting the smoke free days.  I almost feel that I jinx myself as I have gotten this far in (albeit only 9 days) and caved.  I know I am enjoying not smoking.  Breathing better, feeling healthier, not worrying about when I can smoke my next cigarette, not worrying about running out of cigarettes, etc.  My list goes beyond that.  I know that if I continue to do what I do I can be smoke free, so I am conflicted about counting the days.  I will always know the day I quit and, hopefully, a year from June 1st I will be able to say I have been smoke free for a year, but now I feel that it triggers me.  Is that strange?  Feedback is welcome and appreciated.

-Michelle

[Diannnnn]

Michelle,

I am on day 17 of my first voluntary attempt to quit smoking.  I am not using the cold turkey method the first time out the gate for various reasons...mostly because it didn't feel right for me at this time.  I am trying listening to my brain and body and using that to make my tracking decisions.  At first I was counting cigarettes per day but found I got discouraged easily if I smoked more than 10.  Although a huge improvement over 20-30 a day, still felt like failure.  So then I decided to try tracking packs.  Still a measurement, but a more gentle one. Instead of thinking, "Oh crap, I smoked 11 cigarettes today!" I am thinking, "Wow, it took me almost 3 days to smoke that pack of cigarettes!"  I'm not obsessing over how many all the time.  I would experiment and see what feels right. You are still way ahead of me, you were actually able to put them down completely!

I didn't count those jelly beans I just scarfed down either..... ;o)

Nice to meet you,

Dian

[elvan]

Diannnnn Welcome to EX, not sure I understand what you are doing exactly but if the end result is to put down cigarettes completely, I am all for it.

Best,

Ellen

[Diannnnn]

Ellen,

Fair enough.  To be honest; I often ask myself what I am doing.  First time out the gate I'm just going with the flow and letting my body dictate things.  The complete freedom from nicotine dependence is the end goal and we will get there!

Dian