Intro and Why now. ON QUIT Day +5

[VAPEASDEADLY]

I am 5 days into COLD turkey quit from a 24 - 30mg VAPE daily habit. 
Aside from the obvious dependence on nicotine. Vaping was a stealth measure, to an addiction that for all intent and purpose is intent on killing me.

I had been off cigs from 1990 to 2002 when a divorce grace my life, then it started up. 1st with cigars, chew and then vape (because I didn't want to pick up cigs,) Today 16 yrs later with a 4 yr vape habit, to the point i had lost weight from 280 to 200. My stealth habits became noticeable when I was getting nauseous, just trying to eat food was the problem.

Over the weekend, I took a long one,

I took sick with what I will describe as flu, along with appetite suppressant  effects of vaping taking me to the point of anorexic insanity, the lies,  the hiding, has taken a psychology toll on me as well.   I KNOW that any amount of nicotine for me is DEADLY.

No offense to the NRT crowd, ANY substance that contains nicotine will not help your quit.

I am praying daily,

Quit Cigs - 1990

Divorce 2002

   Started Chew
2012 quit chew.
2014 Started Vape.
March 8 2019 QUIT NIC

Been a rough few day,  the skin crawling cravings have lessened and the cravings have as well So when people Say it get's better it truly DOES.. FOR THOSE Struggling I get it. SO to many others here, I am sure.

My appetite is slowing restoring. as it my brain function. 

I get the idea of "wanting to "wean" off. Never worked.

I WILL  live what is rest of my life without this crap killing me,. I came here to vent, because I needed to get this crap out as well. The HEAD games we play with ourselves and our family is the worst.

R - Name withheld

[VAPEASDEADLY]

Amen Donna!  All head games on 9

ourselves 

[VAPEASDEADLY]

Thanks for all the support today! 

Got home opened up to the family. That made all the difference. Support is critical. 

The shame, and guilt while still there are not eating me from the inside. Here is the thing I am finding. Nicotine was making an anxiety issue worse. I had made this into a big head game. The fact is impacted a marriage for a couple a while , is going to take me time to reconcile with myself . 

Still having those Thought bubbles, “ what is she thinking.. “ thoughts.”  “”She says... but... what is she think” 

That is anxiety. 

Heading to bed for day 6

[sweetplt]

Hello and Welcome to EX's...glad you found our sight.  I am so happy you are making the decision to quit early in life.

Please go to My Quit Plan and gain knowledge and set a quit date, then prepare for that day like no other.  You can do this...keep close to the site, because we are all in this journey together.  ~ Now get working and set that Date...~ Colleen 99 DOF 

[mrios5776]

Hi Vapeasdeadly,

Been reading your blog. Congratulations on your quit! Special congrats for coming clean with your loved ones, THAT takes a ton of courage! You are now on a very special journey and to admit to your loved ones you are having a trial with a drug so strong many people have given into on thier initial quits (myself included). Know you have a ton of support here, combined with your support at home you have this kicked!

I can relate to the kreepy crawlies up and down the arms, I deal with them on a daily basis (I quit August 13, 2018) they have not gone completely away yet (I hope some day they will!).

Stay close to this site, you feel the urge to smoke or vape come here to vent, we will all be here for you. Good luck and God Bless!

[VAPEASDEADLY]

ODAT!

[Giulia]

Quitting any addiction takes absolute truth.  With ourselves and with those who love us.  Good for you for opening up to your family.  Shame and guilt are only useful if they enable such openings.  Now you can let those go.  You've made it six days.  Tomorrow celebrate your first vape-free week.  You should be proud of yourself.  We are!  Stay true to you.