I quit smoking a little over a year ago.

[Rena0714]

I don't feel like myself.  I have difficulty concentrating, focusing, no motivation, irritability, depression, and anxiety. I am often very indecisive. I get stressed out very easily.  I have not smoked for over a year. I used Chantix and wellbutrin to help me quit smoking.  I quit the Chantix after 6 weeks because I was so depressed, crying and on edge. I found out later I should have gone off it gradually instead on just stopping taking it. I am still taking the wellbutrin. I have not gained weight. In fact I have lost at least 10 pounds.

I have quit 2 other times in my life. Each time I quit was for 5 years. The first time was cold turkey and I was in my 20s. The second was with Zyban (wellbutrin) and I was in my 40s.  In gained 10 pounds for ever year I quit smoking. So I would start again to lose weight, which I did. Each of these times the first 3 days were the worst. Then every day it got easier.  I did not have any of the above issues after quitting that I am having this time.

My concern or question is, are these issues I am having, still side affects from the nicotine withdrawal? Even after a year. I just feel like a bundle of nerves so much of the time and I can not do the things I use to enjoy because I can't concentrate. I don't have urges to smoke in the sense that I wish I had one. However, every once in awhile the thought crossed my that I'm missing something and then I think "oh that's right I don't smoke any more."  I have no problem with people smoking around me.  Does not bother me at all.

Is there anyone else that has experienced anything like this? I am looking for help or advise.  I am 62 now and if smoking didn't cost so much, I thought at my age I could out live the chance of getting cancer, or I thought it would make all these feelings go away, I would start again.  However, I don't have those guarantees so, there are no advantages to start again. I didn't go though all the initial withdrawals to throw it all away.

Looking for help or support,

Rena0714

[karenjones]

 first I want to say,  you did the right thing by coming here. and I can say, I know where you are coming from and you better not smoking agian, just because you are in your sixties you have even less of a chance of outruning cancer before you die. you know that you could not outrun anything if you are smoking.  You should be real proud of your one year quit. That is a real accomplishment.  and You are absolutely right, you didn't go through all this to throw it all away.  And you have opened a door on a big topic and one which I feel is like the elephant in the room. Which is depression . I have my personal theory which is not well thought out but I can kind of feel it out.  People can be naturally depressed, feeling a bit sad and down, or in the pit of a dark depression not even looking out, that is not you.  You did reach out. When people are smoking they are not able to think straight . i think that people start smoking to self medicate some form of depression, yes, young kids even.  But it doesn't treat depression, it just masks it over and the knowledge that it is destroying your health and ruining your finances is depressing by itself. So now you can let go of the depression that comes from smoking because you don't do that anymore. But the underlying depression still remains to be worked on.  Yes, to be worked on, this is the material of your life that you have been given to work on. If you don't mind, I would like to suggest that Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction could be of help to you.  Ask your doctor about it.  You life will get better. believe it.  And congrats on one year smoke free, that is an accomplishment.

[Rena0714]

Thanks Karen, I have seen several doctors since my last post. I am also schedualed to see 2 others. It has been determined that I have COPD, but it is moderate and can be treated. I also have a nodual on my lung, but they are not concerned about it. They just want to keep an eye on it, so to speak. I am anemic and have low hemoglobin counts, as well as other blood related abnormal counts that I don't understand. I am still depressed but hopefully, the psychotrist they have refurred me to will help with that. I am still waiting on other test results, which I should have this week. I have lost 20 lbs. which is not such a bad thing as long as I'm not sick. I just want the depression to go away. I want to feel normal again. That is the worst of it. It is overwhelming.

[maryfreecig]

     Addiction and withdrawal are related, but not the same thing. Addiction is about the whole dependency. Withdrawal is about the physical and mental effects of not getting the drug...ur nicotine...fairly soon after quitting. I prefer to think of addiction as a system of physical, emotional, mental behaviors--something like that--developed over many years of dependency. 

    I quit in my 20s for 2.5 years and was very enthusiastic-- a believer. I didn't find my next sincere quit til age 54, 5 years ago. I was crest fallen to find quitting a challenge and worried that there was something too broken in me to become a believer again. Good news is that's over 5 years ago, 40,000 cigarettes not smoked, 100,000s of puffs not taken, and a growing sense hope and gratitude. Started in darkness though. 

    Thanks for sharing so openly about your fears and worries and your quit history. I hope you've found some comfort in the responses. Ex is here for the long haul--support and camaraderie of fellow quitters is good medicine for a lot of us.  

[Bellegonia]

Rena,

Congrats on your time in so far! Wow.

I will add because it hasn't been mentioned yet and I am also learning (only 8 weeks quit here) that things do take time... but not like you are talking about regarding your QUIT. I have learned so much about Digestive Health (probiotics) and what smoking does to the body and HORMONES (pre menopause or in menopause) that all of those things should be looked at. So my vote is to talk to your DR.

The flip side of that is there are a LOT of A-hole Drs out there so I hope if you decide to make an appt that you get some honest feedback.

Hugs,

Belle

[Giulia]

Hi Rena.  How's it going?  It's been 10 days since your last response.  Did you find any of the responses helpful?  Have you taken up any of the suggestions offered?  In my opinion if you've been quit for over a year, you're particular anxieties are not due to having quit smoking (nicotine withdrawal),  physiologically, anyway.  Perhaps something else is going on and triggering your symptoms of lack of focus, indecision, depression and anxiety.  Could be a chemical imbalance of some kind in your brain.  Our brains are not the same in our 60s as they were in our 20s and 40s.  I would agree with those above who suggested chatting with your GP about it.  As we age and life becomes more difficult to handle physically, it also becomes more difficult to handle emotionally.  At least I find that so.  Not being able to play tennis any more, for example, is depressing to me.  So I try to find new things I can do that give me the same kind of joy and emotional "high."  Do you have any things you like to do that would give you that "high?"

[Rena0714]

Thank you and yes I am seeking help. I have seen 3 doctors and have been referred to 2 others. All specializing in different fields. I have moderate COPD, but they assure me it is treatable. I am anemic and low on hemoglobin, as well as other blood related counts. They are still working on that. I have had tons of tests run, as one thing seems to lead to another. At this point I am tired of being tired and want my life back to normal. On a good note, I'm still not smoking and I've lost 20 lbs., with out even trying, and in spite of Christmas goodies.

Thanks for your concern it means a lot.

Rena

[elvan]

Rena0714‌ It certainly sounds like you are taking all of the right steps, please keep us posted.  There is a group here for people with COPD and it has helped me immensely, I am a retired RN but I learned a great deal from other people here.  https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/copd you cannot know too much about COPD and about your mental health...

Ellen

[sweetplt]

Hi  

Please know I am new to this site and quit 2 weeks...I went back to smoking after two very long quits.  I am here to grab your hand and let you know smoking isn't the answer...it is learning who you are without the smokes.  That sometimes takes more than a year.  Gotcha in my Thoughts and wonder how you are doing ?  ~ Colleen aka sweets

[anaussiemom]

Please seek help, nervousness, anxiety, can change the chemistry in our brains.  Welbutrin, is a different kind of anti depressant.  It can trigger nervousness, lack of sleep and such.... I am no Doc, but, you may need something more or added etc..

Hugs. 
You will get this figured out.

Many blessings Kim.

[Giulia]

Glad to know you're taking steps to solve the problem.  Sorry about your COPD diagnosis.  Thomas3.20.2010‌ is our "go-to" for info on COPD.  He's amassed quite a bit over his years here and has personal knowledge with the disease as well.  A strong supporter here.  Kudos on your quit and on losing the 20 pounds (even if the later was unintentional!).  If you give me your quit date I'll add you to our /blogs/Giulia-blog/2017/06/18/elders-list-ao-december-7-2016?sr=search&searchId=b77b7331-200d-41c6-8...‌.