I look at you and think "I quit, why can't he". Someone that managed to stop when they were young would look at the 5-6 serious times I tried and failed to quit and think "I did it when I was young, why could he". Point is, it's easy to look at someone elses situation and have an opinion based on your own experiences. What you probably wish is that someone would pick you up, take you to a ranch far in the mountains with no access to transportation and no stores for 100 miles, and support you for 30days while you "got off nicotene". But that ain't gonna happen.
I'm guessing a lot of people did not chime in here because they didn't know what to say. "We are here for you" and "You can do this" aren't going to get you what you want.
And you asked for an intervention. Interventions are always love fests w/ lot's of hugging. They can include lots of yelling too. They aren't always nice. Nobody here can come there and intervene. And unfortunately, you are right, insurance and govt funding don't seem to support the same level of treatment as illegal drugs.
So what do you want? I'm assuming to quit of course. I'm sorry, but you will have to do this on your own. We can be supportive, give suggestions and encouragement, but it is still going to come down to you. I'm reminded of a video I watched of a 600lb mans wt loss journey. He video taped himself over time as he lost wt. Originally, he lived in a trailer, had to have food delivered, and struggled w/ a walker to cross the room. His original "exercise" (which he would post every night) was him sitting on the couch flailing his arms in front of him like a turtle on his back. His only options were to do what he could. Of course its again easy for me to point out that others overcame what seemed like insurmountable odds, when its taken me 40yrs and 6 quit attempts to get to my wimpy 18day quit.
So yes, your situation seems extremely tough. But just like the person in trailer, extreme situations can be overcome. All we can offer is kind support and suggestions. And some of us like me will offer something a bit more direct, in which case you won't hurt my feelings by telling me you don't want to hear from me again. I'm rather blunt. I would get more from a drill sargeant yelling at me than someone rubbing my back.
My suggestions:
1) You sound like you have insurance as you mentioned insurance. Does it pay for counseling? Sounds like you need it. Don't take that in a bad way. I needed counseling once and thought it was very beneficial. Doesn't even have to be a trained psychologist if you can't afford that. Some churches offer it for free. You need someone to talk to one on one though. Internet connections are great, that's why I'm here, but they don't replace person to person help.
2) Can you afford NRT? I'm not a big fan of NRT as I thing all it does is prolongs the length of time it takes to quit, but at your level of intake of nicotene, you may seriously need it. And if you buy the Equate brand at Walmart, it seems pretty similar to the cost of cigarettes.
3) And lastly, only you can get yourself through that first day, whether it be to quit all nicotene, or it be to switch to NRT. It is nerve racking leading up to that first day, and the first hour of the first day is the toughest cause most people fail to even launch their quit, but if you make it through the first hour, there is a good chance you will make it through the first day.
Like I said, you can get lots of support here, and feel free to tell me to go away, but only you can do the work.
Hope something in all that helps. It would be awesome in one year to have you on here helping others and saying "when I started, all I could do was flail my arms like a turtle".
