Hi Tessoshea! I'm so sorry to see you riding that awful merry-go-round, and putting yourself thru the initial stages of quitting over and over. Those days aren't fun enough to do more than once, are they? No. But it took me several (hundred) times to realize that I just wasn't enjoying the early quit and that the only way to get beyond it was to go thru it.... all the way through it, no stops, no "slips", no back-steps, just one day, one minute, one craving at a time going forward (sorry, "forever" is too large a leap for me, even now... you/(I) can quit for a minute very easily. So commit to not smoking in the moment, each moment, and the years will take care of themselves)
Sometimes it takes a while to realize, deep down in your gut, that if you start a sentence with "I smoked because..." the very next words will be a lie/lame excuse. The only "reason" to smoke is to relieve the craving produced by the previous cigarette consumption. But that barsted nicotine addiction is an awesome trickster and convinces us that those lies are reality, our reality.
There is an acronym that can sometimes help get thru a craving. Stop and think, when you feel you want to smoke, are you:
H ungry? eat!! Keep your blood sugar up with juices, fruits or (OMG) chocolate 
A ngry? Punch a pillow, kick a can, yell at your TV or monitor or call up a friend who will understand and rant away, or type it all out here. I knew one lady who chopped down the trees in her front yard (I don't know how big they were, but she was MAD!!!) Let yourself be mad, just don't smoke. We (at least *I*) ALWAYS smoked when I got angry.
L onely (or bored)? Call someone, come here and talk to us, get busy with some craft (adult coloring books can be amusing also... NO I don't mean porno ones 
but whatever floats yer boat... I mean the ones that require more adult skill than kiddie books)
T ired: Take a nap! Take a break!! Take a walk in fresh air! You might find yourself sleepier more often at the beginning, and it is OK ... rest your body which is fighting this terrible addiction.
Always HALT! and pause before you smoke. You don't have to out-will this addiction, you must outsmart it by knowing what is going on in your body. Some of it is physical withdrawal and a lot of it is psychological/behavioral/emotional withdrawal, and only time will heal those wounds. Smoking won't. Smoking won't fix anything or cure anything.
The only sure way to quit smoking is: TADA!... don't smoke!! It isn't easy, but it is just that simple.
Best wishes!
"I had 40 days at the beginning of June. I worked out, I went for walks, I read, I came to the sight, I breathed, I didn't drink alcohol ( trigger), I talked to myself a lot about how good it was and that quitting was the most important thing in my life. It felt good."
This is where you need to go back to ( the above statement ) and hold onto the memories of how bad you feel that this lovely quit was destroyed by 'A Crisis'.
Everyone goes through crisis in their life. I also smoked during those times. Until I learned that smoking was not going to magically make the crisis go away or make me 'feel' any comfort during it.
Go back to the crisis and relive other choices you can make in the future. My friend, you never have to be alone...we are here. I know its not the same as a physical presence but it is what you have now...so use it. Things will change and you will make new friends. I always suggest volunteering at various places. It helps you to reach out and help someone else and in doing do ...you help you
Glad your getting back in the saddle.
