I just keep failing. Please help

[tessoshea]

I had 40 days at the beginning of June. I worked out, I went for walks, I read, I came to the sight, I breathed, I didn't drink alcohol ( trigger), I talked to myself a lot about how good it was and that quitting was the most important thing in my life. It felt good.  Had a crisis ( who doesn't) and bought cigarettes. Did another quit, traveled to help a friend, didn't think much of smoking. I live alone in a town where I know only one person who I never see. I have no friends here.   As soon as I got home I saw someone smoking, bummed one, and have since bought a pack. I smoke when I am alone. I somehow imagine it is my only friend. I am waiting to hear about a new job and am alone too much. This time was just 17 days. 

I am going to re-do my quit date and start again this weekend.   I feel horrible and feel like NO ONE is the addict that I am. I am embarrassed and ashamed. I am mad, I hate myself.  I have a health issue and smoking is ridiculous and dangerous. I have avoided this sight, but I realize it is the key for me.  That little monkey just gets the best of me. 

I have Allen Carr's book and will re read it tonight and tomorrow.  I have patches, I have gum and straws.  I felt so good and so confident after just a few days the first time.  I had moments, of course, but I made it through.  I guess I just don't know HOW to beat the triggers.  I have cried hourly since I bought them. I have since thrown them out but it is morning. 

I think I just have to get over it, start my quit again, and move forward. 

Please let me know your thoughts. # I am miserable.

[Barb102]

It was a gas stove. I had it on self clean. We have a new stove now but I’m afraid to use it. I’m going to try. Have to get over the fear. Firemen said if we had gotten the door open it would have blown up   I’m having nightmares too

[YoungAtHeart]

Sounds to me like capping the gas line and getting an electric stove might be required.  I understand that will be yet another large expense, so at the least I would never, ever put one on self clean again - for SURE!  That was the cause, so perhaps you can relieve yourself of the worry by accepting it will be OK otherwise.

TERRIBLE experience, I know.

Glad you didn't smoke over it!

[elvan]

I don't use the self clean option...didn't use it on my last stove either and that was electric...the intensity of that heat freaks me out.

[IrishRose]

Those gas/electric stoves get way too hot for me to use that self-clean.  I had electric and went to gas too.

Irish

[desiree465]

Ok so I am never using the self clean option on my oven! Not worth it, plus I've heard it smells really really bad when you use it. 

[NewMe]

You have already gotten some very good pointers here. I would recommend https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/thread/6040-my-welcome-to-new-members-10-years-of-wisdom- , and taking Dale's 130 Day challenge. Believe me, after 44 years of smoking there were plenty of times early on that I did not think I was going to succeed. But I did make that commitment to do my best for 130 days, I came here frequently (multiple times per day) in the beginning to read, gather advice and information, bask in the loving support of others who have "been there, done that", and learn everything I could that would help me honor that commitment to not take another puff. Was it hard? Absolutely. But if you put forth the effort to commit to quit, you will find no better place anywhere than here to gain knowledge, tips and tools to help you succeed, tons of people willing to be your cheerleaders, and help you succeed. All of us have been where you are, but we found what we needed to make this work. Stick with it. It is not fun, but it is doable, and when you realize you are fully committed to NOPE, you will realize it is the best gift you ever gave to yourself. I am about a month shy of celebrating my 3 year anniversary on my quit. You can do it too. Leave the excuses behind and start looking for solutions. You will be glad you did.

[redraiderglobal]

This is but a part of the process and most, if not all of us that have beaten cigarettes have had this experience. The good news is that one day, these cravings will be gone, forever. Never to return. I wouldn't have believed that before I quit, but I never, ever think highly or miss the days that I smoked. I never think back or reminisce about anything positive involving smoking. I quit on April 1, 2011 and each day feels as a new day. 

You have to see that and believe that. For me, it opened my future up to new things I have never imagined. Quitting smoking meant to me that I had nothing in my life that wasn't good for me that I could not overcome. My entire psyche morphed into new interest, new experiences and a new future. This is what lies ahead. Dont' beat yourself too bad when this happens, understand that this is a journey of your life, that you have things to prove. You can do it. 

[stAn3]

I am in a similar situation. I just escaped the panicked stage after a relapse. I have stopped the knee-jerk quit attempts. I realize I need more planning. I accept that I made a mistake by returning to smoking. I don't try to fight the reality of my relapse. I remember my past successes and look forward to future success. I know I will be successful as long as I keep coming to this site.  Right now I am planning for my next quit. I am practicing skills I know I will need when I quit--like coming to this site everyday, talking to support group members, talking about the things that have made me want to smoke in the past. I know you will be successful if you keep trying.

[marciem]

Also, ALWAYS keep in mind... the bad things about quitting smoking, the cravings, the anxiety, the anger, the insomnia... are all TEMPORARY symptoms.  The benefits are PERMANENT, and ever-growing.  The misery of the early quit may seem like it is lasting forever (even that crave that is usually 3 minutes or so will convince you that you will always feel that crappy) are really short term in the grand scheme of your smoking life.  Don't let a temporary feeling (which won't kill you) send you back to years or decades of smoking (which WILL kill you or suck your life experiences away).

p.s. Welcome stAn!!  When is your new quit date?  

[stAn3]

Monday, July 28. I just informed my face to face support people. I am ready. I’m. Looking forward to it. The feedback I have gotten here and the information on the site have given all the tools I need to be successful.