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Give and get support around quitting

reen2u
Member

I am new and I will succeed

Hello.  I am Maureen. In 53 yrs old and a mother to beautiful 20 year old twin girls. 

The night I got pregnant with them I had quit smoking after 19 years. 

I didn't want it to be 20 years that I had smoked.  I kept it up for 6 wonderful years.  I started smoking again in 2004. I've quit for weeks at a time,  but always went back. 

This has to be the final attempt. I got diagnosed with melanoma on my scalp last July. I had 2 surveys and they found it no where else. You would of thought all I went through would of made me quit. But it didn't. In December of last year I was hospitalized with what I thought was pnemonia. After 4 days they told me they found nodules on my left lung. After going back up to Dana Farber and having a petscan it was confirmed. I have stage 4, because it metastasized,  melanoma in left lung.  You think that would of made me quit smoking. Nope! I've used cigarettes to get through alot of painful and difficult times in my life. My girls can't understand why I still smoke. Neither can I really but they don't know the addiction. The breaking even when I had one 20 minutes ago. I've got the patch,  i've got the gum. When I did it in 1998 I did the gum for a few days then went cold turkey. Im going to try to do the same again. To me the vape I have keeps the smoking sensation going. The patch will keep the nicotine going. I pray I can have the strength to do it for the rest of my life. Which I want to be a lot longer. 

I look forward to reading posts. I had a quit partner back then. Now it's just me. I have to do this for me. 

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22 Replies
reen2u
Member

Thank you so much!

It is hard and I am going to use help from patch and this wonderful site.

There has been several messages today that makes me thankful I found this site!

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YoungAtHeart
Member

Welcome to our community!

Everyone here will be your quit buddies.  It's what we do!

The important thing you can do right now is to educate yourself on what nicotine does to your body and mind. To that end, I highly recommend Allen Carr's “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.” This is an easy and entertaining read. You can search for it online or at your local library. If you do nothing else to get ready for your quit, please do give this a read.


 You should also read the posts here and perhaps go to the pages of folks who you think might be helpful. You might visit whyquit.com, quitsmoking.com and livewell.com for the good information contained there. @https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex has lots of blogs written by members of this site with their experiences and guidance. Here is a video to inform you further about nicotine addiction: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpWMgPHn0Lo&feature=youtu.be.

After you have completed the recommended reading, it will be time to make an informed choice of the quit aid, if any, you will use. If you go that route, I personally recommend the aids that don't let the addict control the dose such as the available prescription drugs or the patch. If used properly, gum, lozenges and inhalers are fine, but they need to be used only as a last resort after you have tried to delay and distract.   I have seen folks become addicted to them if they substitute them for every cigarette they used to smoke - just trading one addiction for another.  You need to start out with a plan to reduce use of them over time - which the patch does by decreasing the dose contained in them..  For the gum, you can start by cutting each piece in half, then in quarters, then sub regular gum of the same flavor in between, adding more and more regular gum.

It will be informative if you do the tracking and separation exercises recommended here on the site. As you track each cigarette smoked, note its importance, and what you might do instead. Put each one off just a little to prove that you don't NEED a cigarette just because you think you do.
 

The idea is to change up your routines so the smoking associations are reduced.  Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand in a place different from when you smoked. Maybe switch to tea for a bit.  If you always had that first smoke with your coffee, try putting your tennies on right out of bed, going for a quick walk, then taking your shower and THEN your coffee! Rearrange the furniture in the areas you used to smoke so the view is different. Buy your gas at a different station. Take a different route to work. Take a quick walk at break time where the smokers AREN'T.
 
You need to distract yourself through any craves.  You can take a bite out of a lemon (yup - rind and all), put your head in the freezer and take a deep breath of cold air, do a few jumping jacks, go for a brisk walk or march in place, play a computer game.  Keep a cold bottle of water with you from which to sip. Don't let that smoking thought rattle around in your brain unchallenged. Sometimes you need to quit a minute or an hour at a time.  You will need to be disciplined in the early days to distract yourself when a crave hits.    Get busy!  Here is a link to a list of things to do instead of smoke if you need some fresh ideas:
 https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2013/02/25/100-things-to-do-instea...
The conversation in your head in response to the "I want a cigarette" thought needs to be, "Well, since I have decided not to do that anymore, what shall I do instead for the three minutes this crave will last?"  Then DO it.  You will need to put some effort into this in the early days, but it gets easier and easier to do.

Stay close to us here and ask questions when you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way!


 Nancy

elvan
Member

Welcome to EX, so glad you are here.  I smoked for 47 years and had so many failed attempts to quit that I lost track of them.  This quit is almost 5 1/2 years old because of the education about the addiction, the support from people who know EXACTLY what recovery is like, and my own commitment not to smoke, no matter what.  When I quit, I had already done the trigger tracking and I knew what my triggers were...they were feelings that made me uncomfortable. I did not want to deal with them so I stuffed them by smoking.  I got really sick with pneumonia that exacerbated my COPD and it came very close to taking me out.  I could not breathe and I was terrified.  I am on oxygen at night only and I exercise regularly and eat a healthy diet, I came to this site every morning and every evening when I first started and even now, I am here most days.  The people on this site are loving, supportive, intuitive, and experienced in dealing with what life throws at them.  We are all here to help you in any way that we can.  You CAN do this.

Ellen

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jonimarie
Member

reen2u Welcome

When I first joined this site I picked my quit date as the next day. And like you said above it suggested me to pick a week or two out.

I picked two weeks out from when I joined the sight.

Speaking for me, I was glad I waited the two weeks and I came on here everyday and read blogs and suggested readings. I became educated about my addiction.

In my what seems like last 100 attempts, I never educated myself. Was bull headed and did not put much thought into it. I believe that was why I failed and this time is so different.

Do the readings  suggested above and even if you do not want to comment or blog read the blogs everyday as they

help to build those positive thoughts about not smoking in your head versus the I want to smoke thoughts

You can do this

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Mandolinrain
Member

Your attitude says it all! Way to go and welcome to Ex!

maryfreecig
Member

Ok so you caved. It happens. I hope you realize that Ex is here for you every single day of the year. Your diagnosis has got to be difficult to handle right now and I'm sure your daughters must be filled with strong emotions too. They love you, but your job is to find your quit for yourself--otherwise you'll add to your burden a fear of failing them--in my opinion.

Each day is a gift, so reach out for all the resources that you have available to you including Ex. We're here 365. Thanks for sharing what brought you here. Keep sharing, keep reading--Ex is about hope--stay tuned in, don't shut yourself away feeling scared and sad--no echo chambers! 

Yes you can face each day, find smobriety one day at a time. That's what we're all doing here.

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Tanua
Member

Hello and welcome. I, too, am 53. I quit before too for 10 years and started back. We all learn as we go-I guess. I’m glad you have decided to quit. This is a great network here. I have learned a lot of info that I never knew that cigarettes do to your body.   I think that keeping very busy my first 2 weeks really helped me. I also stocked up on candy. I allowed myself any and all foods.  I think it helped me. Now I’m 79 days in and am learning how to eat well. Forgot to tell you that I used Zyban to quit. It’s a low dose anti depressant. It’s like Chantix but oh so cheap with a GoodRX coupon. I think it helps you to just ignore the triggers when they come. I’m on a 3 month supply. Also I cleaned and deodorized a lot the day before my quit date.  Well hope this helped. You can do this! Tanuaj79DOF

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Barbscloud
Member

Congrats on your 79 days!

Barb

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Christine13
Member

I'm sorry for what you've been through.  I'm glad you are here and I know you will succeed!

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JACKIE1-25-15
Member

Hi, Maureen Welcome to the EX community.  You have come to the right place for support. 

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