I Promised Dad

[Ralph1955]

  On July 15, 2018, my dads birthday, I quit smoking as a gift to him.  As you know dad passed away on September 10th of this year.  The hurt, sadness and grief brought back the nico-demon trying to get me to smoke again.  The pull to give in was so strong and I knew if I took one cigarette not only would I have to admit my weakness, but I would have betrayed my pop.  For years he begged me to quit and to continue to honor him I stuck to my quit; the demon did not win.

  Past urges were Nothing like this one.  Losing dad, still so fresh, tears me apart and tears have yet to subside but I knew I had to be strong and continue on my quit journey.  Dad would expect that from me.  Many here, especially our new friends, feel the urge to smoke is stronger than they are and some give in.  Believe me, I know that urge and have failed myself many times.  No urge can be stronger than pain and sadness.  I guess my point is you Are stronger than your urge and you Can continue on your quit journey.  Nothing can be more painful than the loss of a parent and it's a feeling that pulls at your heart.  I stood in front of a cigarette counter a few times since this loss and I did not give in.  Coming here to express my grief among so many wonderful friends has helped me go on.  I urge Everyone who has recently quit and those who are in pain, to return to this place and Together we can lean on one another and keep our quit forever.

  Love you all and thank you for being You.

Ralph

[Christine13]

I'm so sorry Ralph.  I have lost my life partner, and I know how painful that is, but I have no idea how to cope with a loss of a parent.  ((((Ralph))))) those are hugs.  Your Dad is extremely proud of you!

[Bellegonia]

BIG HUGS

Belle

[indingrl]

Thanks for STAYING a NON SMOKER and for sharing your courage and strength in YOUR grieving process - it takes TIME - I joined a support group called -  Grief Share - on Saturday - due to phone calls received in less than 12 hours - 3 weeks ago - MY REALITY  - life on life's terms - 2 family deaths and MY mother-in-love in hospice- 2 funerals done and TODAY I am thanking God mom is eating again - thank you for YOUR prayers - OVERWHELMED AND OVER LOAD - I sought needing HELP to feel MY feelings and it is OK to cry - let the tears flow going THROUGH the PAIN of loss and come out in the next process that in TIME - healing comes - LIFE HITS HARD - LIKE A DOUBLE PUNCH IN MY FACE AND BREAKS MY NOSE and then HITS ME in the gut too -  that's LIFE - to deal with it - I prayed to God asking for HELP - then  I learned of Grief Share at a church - just sharing -please take what HELPS - let go of the rest -  to be HELPFUL is MY only aim - thank you -  you can join on line - if - YOU choose -  it was nice being with loving people who had EMPATHY and very helpful sharing their experiences - some days - some 2 years - some months-  who loss children - parents - friends -  family - spouses - gentle hug

[MarilynH]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Huge caring hug from me to you dear Ralph}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

[jonimarie]

Grief is a very painful and overwhelming emotion. Each persons grief is unique to them based on the relationship they had. Your Dad was watching over you so you did not buy those cigarettes! God Bless Ralph in this new journey of loss you are traveling through

[Giulia]

You honor him by remaining free and staying steadfast.  It's such a fresh loss.   Not even two weeks.  I suspect you will have many more moments when the urge to smoke comes upon you.    

Remember your own words when necessary:  "The pull to give in was so strong and I knew if I took one cigarette not only would I have to admit my weakness, but I would have betrayed my pop."   

You never need to betray your father nor yourself ever again.  Just continue to stay true to that best part of you.  A hug coming in your direction....

[Mward90]

I am so very sorry for you loss.  I can't imagine the pain of losing what sounds like a very caring and loving father.  And you stayed Non Smoker!  That is amazing.  Also thank you for reminding me to take a minute to count my blessings.

[Ralph1955]

Thank you so much. Dad was a good man and sacrificed so much for us growing up.  Definitely count your blessings; they disappear in the blink of an eye; never have regrets.

[MarilynH]

♥