Hi hatton... I'm so sorry you're having this difficulty. But I will say it is a difficulty I also had.
.. not sure how to conquer this for good...
The answer is... the same way you eat an elephant. One bite/step/day/hour/minute/craving at a time.
Sometimes if you look at forever, it seems overwhelming, like too large a leap, so change your focus. You will NOT always feel as crappy as the first few weeks, you WILL feel terrific once the hardest of the hard work is done. But you have to maintain your focus, and your vigilance, for long after the hard part is done. Each crave/urge overcome is that much stronger your quit.
To smoke, you have to make several, up to maybe 10, conscious decisions and follow-thru actions.
1. Decide to smoke.
2. get in car/walk to store
3. Buy cigarettes or bum (this is assuming you have done due diligence and rid your living/work spaces of smoking materials)
4. Open pack
5. Take cigarette out.
6. Find or obtain incendiary device.
7. put cigarette in mouth.
8. Ignite incendiary device
9. Put incendiary device to cigarette end.
10. Draw in smoke.
BAM... quit gone up in smoke.
But you see, in this scenario you have 10 chances to save your quit and make the appropriate decision to do so. I know, it goes as quick as a flash, but if you purposefully break it down in your mind as you are doing it, you might just stop at step 5, 6 or 7 instead of going thru with it.
Best wishes going forward!!
