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How do I get my son to stop vaping?
I discovered that my son was vaping about a year and a half ago. He was grounded for a month, I threw all of his vaping stuff out, and even made him train to run a half marathon with me. I would do room checks randomly and for a while it seemed he was on the up and up. I believed him when he told he he had stopped. Today, over a year later I found alcohol AND vaping stuff in his drawer. When I confronted him, he told me he had never stopped vaping even though he had promised me through tears that he had. I don't know what to do right now. I can't trust him. I know that he has to want to change. I can ground him forever and take everything he loves away and he'll still find a way to vape if he wants to. So what do I do? How do I first get him to want to stop and then actually go through the pain of withdrawals to actually do it. Is he too young and immature to hold himself accountable? Are there online support groups for teens that will help? I'm desperate. He is 17 and a senior in high school and I'm scared for him to graduate and go into the world with this addiction. Help!!!
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https://truthinitiative.org/thisisquitting
https://drugfree.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/11/What-You-Need-to-Know-and-How-to-Talk-to-Your-Kids-A... https://truthinitiative.org/research-resources/quitting-smoking-vaping/how-help-your-child-quit-vapi...
Worried Your Teen Is Vaping? How To Have A Tough Conversation : Shots - Health News : NPR
https://www.lung.org/quit-smoking/helping-teens-quit/talk-about-vaping/conversation-guide
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I wonder where he is getting money to afford vaping supplies and alcohol? If it is from a part-time job, you might tell him that you have decided that he needs to pay his car insurance, gas, and even help with monthly household expenses. If you are giving him an allowance, I would tell him that stops until he works to quit the unhealthy behaviors and starts to make better decisions.
Unfortunately, young people experiment and make some bad decisions. He has to come to this decision on his own Here is some information that might help to hasten his awakening.
Considering vaping to be “safe” is far from a given - there is much research to be done. What we know is that vaping raises your blood pressure and spikes your adrenaline, which increases your heart rate and the likelihood of having a heart attack. There are many unknowns about vaping, including what chemicals make up the vapor and how they affect physical health over the long term. Recently vaping has been in the headlines because of the possibility of it causing severe lung damage in young people. An August, 2019 study at the University of Pennsylvania showed that a single instance of vaping immediately led to reduced vascular function: https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2019/08/190820101601.htm. You might find useful information, ...https://truthinitiative.org/research-resources/quitting-smoking-vaping/quitting-e-cigarettes.
I recommend that you help educate him on what nicotine does to his body and mind. To that end, I suggest Allen Carr's “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.” . Vaping was not a concern when this was written, so he will need to sub “vape”as necessary. This is an easy and entertaining read which can be found online or at your local library. Here is a video to inform him further about nicotine addiction: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpWMgPHn0Lo&feature=youtu.be.
When he is ready (and I hope he WILL be!), you can have some information on hand for him. Nicotine addiction is nicotine addiction - no matter the delivery device - and how to beat any of them is about the same. Every time you read :"cigarette" in the information I will give you, just sub "Juul" or “vape,” or “device.” The one thing different I would recommend is that you first start to reduce the nicotine content of the pods. Start with a lesser amount in, like, one in every four, then three, etc. until you are only using the smallest amount, or reduce the amount of nicotine in the pods over time. That way the physical withdrawal should be more manageable.
If he decides to use Nicotine Replacement Therapy , I personally recommend the aids that don't let the addict control the dose such as the available prescription drugs or the patch. If used properly, gum, lozenges and inhalers are fine, but they need to be used only as a last resort after you have tried to delay and distract. I have seen folks become addicted to them if they substitute them for every cigarette they used to smoke - just trading one addiction for another. He needs to start out with a plan to reduce use of them over time - which the patch does by decreasing the dose contained in them.. For the gum, start by cutting each piece in half, then in quarters, then sub regular gum of the same flavor in between, adding more and more regular gum. For the lozenge, he will need to start subbing a mint in between to begin, increasing the number of them over time.
You are doing the right thing to try to help him see the light - but don't totally alienate him over this. Give him the information he needs to make a good choice, tell him you will support his efforts every way you can. But - that is about all that you can do. Most of us here on this site smoked for many, many years, even after we KNEW it was damaging our health. This is a terrible addiction - and it is difficult from which to break free. I have read that nicotine is as addictive as heroin or cocaine - but he CAN break free - but only if he wants to.
I wish you the best.
Nancy
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You don't get him to stop. You let him know that there is help if he wants it. And you keep repeating this. You have a right to lay down the law as far as your home goes--no vaping, no supplies in the house, no alcohol and so forth. It is well known that no-one changes their behavior in a single moment. And it is well known that no one is successfully convinced to stop, successfully begged to stop, successfully punished into stopping. But inspiring your son might help him for when he is ready to let go of his dependency on nicotine. In my opinion, you will be doing yourself a big favor by replacing your worry with knowledge--knowledge about nicotine dependency, know the resources available in your community and online.
What a loving mom you are to ask for help here at Ex. You can learn to deal with this whole situation. Keep reading, keep learning.
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You are a good Mom, trying everything in your power to keep him from continuing down this road. I found a couple resources online
https://www.lung.org/quit-smoking/helping-teens-quit
That being said, you can't force someone else to quit. But I would make it as hard as possible for him to continue. I like the ideas that youngatheart had above on money. Also, is there another adult he's close to that you can recruit to help you? I started as a teen, not sure if I would have listened to my parents, but I probably would have had a hard time looking my grandma in the eye and explaining myself to her. Good luck, I'll be praying he makes the right decision, because trying to quit 20+ years later sucks.
