Help me get thru this please!!!

[Lori24201]

My name is Lori, I used to smoke about a pack and a 1/2 A-day which = 35 cigaret a day.  On October 30th  my husband  Was admitted to the hospital. He has been dealing with a very weak heart for the last couple of years. And this time it almost took his life. His heart function was down to 10% he had filled up with water and was basically drowning. His heart is in such bad shape, He is going to need an LVAD (left ventrical assistance device) or a heart transplant... For either of these surgical procedures he cannot be around a smoker whatsoever and I must quit and I must quit now.. On the 1st day I tried to put them down I ended up picking up the pack 7 times and smoke 7 cigarets. The 2nd day I smoke 9 cigarets the 3rd day I smoke 10 cigarettes... I am dealing with a lot of stress and anxiety. I have a 14 mg patch that I have been wearing but it doesn't seem to help much. Me urges are strong and severe and  The withdrawals are very intense. I have emotions and anxiety but I'm not sure of it has to do with the situation at hand or of its actually just from quitting smoking... I have joined several support groups when none of them seem to offer Someone to talk to when you're going through your extreme urges and cravings. That's what I need help with I don't have medication so it's getting extremely hard to fight off after I fight the urges I sometimes feel very tired and wanna go to sleep. I did notice a couple of times after going several hours without a cigaret the smoking it made me feel ill and sick to my stomach. I was very weak at the knees and light headed. Which I didn't like cause I always enjoyed smoking a cigarette. So at this point I don't know what to do or where to turn to get help. I just started this and I know is going to be very hard on me especially with all the stress it is occurring in my life.. If anybody could help or tell me what to do I sure would appreciate it because I have to do it no matter what.

[joyeuxencore]

Lori24201‌ Welcome to the community and congratulations on the decision to take your life back and change it for the better for you and your husband! Tomorrow I will be celebrating seven years quit because I came on to this site and read all the material everyone suggested. I came to this site every single day and wrote a blog post, read what every else was posting and stuck close. It is uncomfortable at first there is no doubt about it...you have to decide all kinds of things you are going to do instead of smoke I believe you got posted the 100 things to do instead. That one helped me a lot! xo

[MarilynH]

How are you doing this evening Lori24201?

[Lori24201]

Hi ...I am having a very emotional day.  Not sure if its from all the stress of my husband's declining health or the withdrawals...but been very upset, mad, confused, and had trouble concentrating.This evening is getting better..  I am at home tonight, and I had to go to work and catch my office up today...my boss is a saint...and has let me stay at my husband's side whenever I need to ..I have been with this job for 5 yrs...we are family. So this actually helped with the cravings because I could distract myself. But as I stated ..  for some reason I felt sad and depressed all day, like the world was turned against me. And Then I would get mad and think about things that made me angry ...is this part of the withdrawals? Or am I just overwhelmed? It almost feels like I got hit in the face by a tidal wave and I am just being tossed about like an empty shell....ughhhh