Have gained nothing positive

[Gwenivere]

I am almost 6 months into this quit.  I’ve never felt worse in my life.  I feel like an oddity as everyone else is so positive about the changes.  I have no motivation as I have many health-and emotional problems that have been exhaserbated since I started this.  I’ve been reluctant to post again because of replies telling me te suck it up, give up the NRTs, I’m making myself worse and other responses that leave me feeling more isolated.  NRT or not, the nicotine delivery or lack of, I tried dropping them, has altered my medications I take daily and cannot find a harmony with anymore.  I have contacted my doctor and it’s one experiment after another.  I am alone in this with no family or friends.  I was forced into this and while I’ve had plenty of time now to educate myself, I’m still left wondering why I feel so much worse.  I can’t take a walk because of pain.  I can’t think clearly because of that, anxiety and bad sleep.  Just ne ede d to vent a bit.  I’m Glad all of you are experiencing positive results.  Wish I could join you.

[maryfreecig]

     Some see the light, some feel the heat. I was never an award winning quitter, but for those who recover quickly, I'm so glad for them. For those who slog along wondering what the ef... I feel empathy. All I can tell you is that somewhere along the line I stopped fixating on my former smoking life. Smoking (and therefore quitting) was not the only issue in my life at the time I quit. Nor is it today. As for feeling down hearted, I guess, when no person, place or thing can help me look forward, I turn to the spiritual. Yes, when I'm at wits end. I hope the best for you as always and you are in my thoughts. I know your journey has been tough but keep searching.

[Christine13]

I can't believe the amount of strength and determination you have in keeping your quit while going through so much in your life!!  I am very proud of you.  You are a hero!!  I hope your doctor can help you sort through things.  I am alone too, fortunately I have a phychiatrist and councillor.  Keep working to feel better.  It's ok not to be happy if you are sad.

Keep blogging and letting your feelings out, we are all here to help you.

[virgomama]

I'm with Christine13.  Good job, Guenevere.  You are stronger than you think you are if you've kept your quit through all of this.  Especially if you're not feeling better yet.  Keep plugging.  I hope you and your PCP can get this worked out for you.  Hang in there.  We ARE with you for as long as it takees.

[Barb102]

Sorry you are going through this. I know it’s hard it was very hard for me too. I was not feeling great a 6 months either. But I promise you it will get better. Please stay with your quit. I wish I had quit sooner but I can’t look back and neither should you. I’ll support you. You are never alone here. Day or night. Remember that

[Jennifer-Quit]

No advise except stay on NRT for as long as you feel you need it.  Sending good thoughts your way that you will soon start feeling the benefits of being smoke free!

[Gwenivere]

Thank you too Jennifer-Quit.  I tried without the NRTs for a couple of days and I almost gave up.  Their side effects are tough at times, but not as bad as cold turkey.  I had about about 11 days into that when I was in the hospital last summer.  Hindsight is great.  Had I only stuck with that at least the physical struggle would be done.  I do regret that as the mental is a bear.  I tried no NRTS for a couple days and even tho the side effects are tough at times, it beat cold turkey.  I’m just sick of this being my primary focus.  That or constant pain from a degenerating spine.  Both cause sleep problems so I live in a brain fog.  I so miss grabbing my keys and going without a 2nd thought.  This has also caused my medications to change effectiveness.  Sorry, got off into whining again. 

[Daniela2016]

Gwenivere You've got a lot of advice here; I feel the pain in the tone of your blog; and I am sorry you have to go through such hard times.

If I can give you one idea, you might have, or have not tried is to go to YouTube and do a search on "meditation for healing" or anxiety or pain.  You might need to listen to more than one before you find the one able to help you, but no matter what, you'll learn to listen to your body, and to relax.  And that made and still makes a difference in my life.

I know some people think this is again another mubo-jumbo, new era blah-blah, false pretense, whatever others think about it, it does help me.

Only one month since I started meditating regularly 20min every morning, my liver enzymes went down by 100%.  The doctors kept telling me the only way to make them better is to lose the extra fat I carry, and it looks as my liver is getting better despite the fact I did not lose any weight, I even gain some.  You might say it could have been something else, or that is all in my mind, and you might be right, because I strongly believe our mind is governing our life, including our health challenges.

If you make time for 20min/day to take care of yourself through meditation, you might be surprised by the results.

If you don't believe it can make a difference, don't waste your time trying  But I hope you will, and I hope you'll get better soon.

Hugs

Daniela

[Legend]

Keep doing whatever you are doing to stay smoke free. If you are not smoking you are doing something right. Every day you don’t smoke is a huge victory for you even if you don’t feel it right now. It took me a long time before I got that oh boy I am going to make it feeling.  Everybody is different and do whatever you need to do to stay smoke free.   

[Andstillirise]

I’m so sorry you’re going through this . I’m only 15 days into my quit so I can’t offer my help . Things that help me are guided meditation. ( you can find them on YouTube ) , breathing techniques , and baths .

it sucks you can’t get a little exercise like walks . I feel for you . If I couldn’t walk everyday and for miles I’d be a mess and feel horrible . 

As as far as your anxiety ...I have debilitating panic attacks , Crohn’s disease and interstitial cystitis .

Could your doctor prescribe you Xanax ? It’s been a miracle drug for me . It definitely helps with the anxiety and feeling overwhelmed . 

Sending you positive thoughts and healing vibes . 

[Gwenivere]

Yup, not being able to exercise really sucks.  I get so restless as I miss the endorphins.  Not very fond of excruciating pain either.  

I am on Xanax since being diagnosed in 87.  Had them pretty much under control but the quit messed up the dosage and schedule.  They are insidious beasties I wouldn’t wish on anyone.  People don’t understand they are far more than being nervous or antsy.  I have a cousin with with crohns who has told me the challenge of that.  As if our plates weren’t full enough with the Quit, eh?

thank you for your thoughts Andstillirise.  15 days is something to be proud of.  I don’t know if you are doing it cold or with help, but my best wishes to you.