Hello All,
I realized this morning that my 3 year anniversary has come and gone. January 20th, 2009 was the first day of the rest of my life, and it has continued to be. I can not even begin to tell you how my life has changed now that I am no longer a slave to nicotine. I was so blinded, I couldn't even see the reality that I couldn't quit even if I wanted to and that I needed help. Learning to live with out smoking was the absolute most difficult thing I have ever done in my life, but the rewards have been 100,000 times greater.
Since quitting smoking I have lost 60 pounds, been accepted to a bachelor degreen nursing program, bought a new car, been on several vacations, grown immensly as a person, mother, wife and daughter.
The miracle of it is is that all of that stuff might've happened any ways, but I am different. When I go to the gym, I don't feel guilty because I'm a smoker and I'm defeating the purpose anyway. When I go to school, I don't feel contradictory because I'm in the healthcare industry and supposed to be able to teach people about healthful living, yet I'm paying to kill myself. When I bought a new car, I'm not decreasing the value daily by smoking in it or getting cigarette burns on the door or in the back seat. I can not tell you how relieving it is to make a lay-over and not have to worry if there's somewhere for me to run and smoke real quick. My travel time in and of itself is relaxing!
But to talk about how I've changed as a person... I'm calmer, more relaxed and I don't believe the lies anymore. I used to think that cigarettes calmed me down; they gave me time to think. But now I know that that is a lie. I told myself that to perpetuate and deny what I was really doing to myself. I remember towards the end of my quit, it was recommended to me that when I inhale to say to myself just exactly what I was doing at that moment, to "mindfully" smoke. I would say on inhale, "2,000 chemicals, Becky, going into your body right now," and I would picture me inhaling those chemicals and watch them as they systemically made their way into each of my cells. It made me sick. And sometimes I couldn't even finish smoking, but what I was doing was so appaling. I was killing myself.
I look back now and realize that I actually started preparing for my quit 9 months in advance. I started by joining this website. I wasn't very active, but it was a start. I read Allen Carr's "The Easy Way to Stop Smoking," a self-hypnosis book (don't knock it till you've tried it, and if you aint going to try it then you can't knock it), I joined Nicotine Anonymous online, I put myself in different scenerios without smoking just to see if I could do them, I prayed and meditated, did positive thinking and visual imagery, and finally, I used Chantix and the list goes on.
The point is: I gave it my all for as long as it took. I knew that this was going to be the most difficult thing I had ever done and that if I really wanted to do it (even though I really didn't 'want' to quit, I knew I needed to for the sake of my health and life), I needed to give it my most intense effort.
It worked! I sit here 3 years and 2 days later, completely nicotine free. The miracle awaits you! Just keep trying, because it will happen. One day at a time, one hour at a time, one minute at a time, even one second at a time.
And let me dispell the myth that my life is too difficult and I need 'something' to help alleviate stress... I am a mom to 3, newly married, college student, and my youngest has severe special needs that includes managing more than 20 doctors and their appointments, various medications, nursing staff, three different home therapies, school management, supplies and equipment, and not to mentiont the emotional toll. (And my husband quit 3 weeks before me, so you know our house was fun to be around!). IT CAN BE DONE! Always remember, no matter what situation you've put yourself in: set yourself up for SUCCESS! Keep your greatest success in mind when planning out your day, and set yourself up for a successful quit!
