"I feel like I've been robbed", you said...
Well, I've been there. When I no longer had access to cigarettes, I was a basket case. It felt like a major part of my life had been ripped away.
Now, I am SO glad I did not have access. After more than 50 years of smoking -- many at more than two packs /day -- I am now 229 days totally free of those nasty nasties that gave me COPD and clogged the arteries feeding my brain, putting me at high risk for a stroke~
To help prevent a stroke, I had to have surgery to ream the build-up of cigarette tar attached to a cholesterol build-up from the walls of an artery. Complications from that surgery kept me in ICU for four days; and facial numbness from that surgery lasted for almost a year!!
And, I had felt like cigarettes were my friends!! They were there for me whenever I was stressed or angry or happy or sad and on and on...
I am still kicking myself that I actually relapsed about 4 months after that surgery; I had a holiday drink and bummed a cigarette from a friend. That led to two weeks of uncontrolled smoking.
Getting back on the quit wagon was not a pretty sight and wasn't as easy as I thought it would be. Please take it from me
that quitting again after a relapse is not an easy feat.
Please stay smoke-free and continue on the journey to becoming a bona-fide ex-smoker..it will be worth it 
It's ok to cry you know . We understand , and they are healing tears so it's ok to let them go . We are so proud of you because we know it's hard in the beginning .
We were there too and we can tell you truthfully it will get easier . Take one day at a time , stay with us , post as often as you need . Distract , delay , talk about it , drink lots of water and breathe . Inhale peace , exhale the anxiety the worry , the fear and the anger . You are taking your power back and you are in control of who you want to become . Cigarettes think their the almighty power in your life , your only way to cope , but they are not . Walk , walk lots . Don't smoke , do something different . Write a list of to dos you've wanted to try .. and start doing them ... ever wanted to learn the ukele , well you can learn now ... live life without cigarettes ...they were in your way of great things to come .
This is a poem I wrote about a hundred days into my quit . There was fear when I quit too and I didn't know what lie ahead . Quitting brought out all kinds of emotions that were hard but I endured them to find freedom , you will too . It's worth it . You can break the chains that bind you to addiction and it takes just one day at a time , no more , no less and you are doing it ... congratulations ... YOU have the courage . We are glad you are here , reach out anytime , someone will always have your back .
Maki ( sjl )
