Enlightened

[CathyC1332]

Here I am at 3 in the morning. I tripped over cigarettes.  Do I start a new quit date or just continue from where I was at and doing so well not smoking?  I want to pretend this never happened. But in a way I am glad it did happen now.  I stop and think how out of control I was and thinking a cigarette would help.  I think at that meltdown moment the only thing that would have helped me is a baseball bat to my head.  New years eve and I was crying because I hurt so bad. I went to bed and rested thinking sleep would help me focus. 2 hours later i get up determined i was going to go through the whole house to find one cigarette.  Well i did find some really old ones. Six to be exact and I smoked them all. Oh i felt like a new person. New years day i bought 2 packs. I think i can keep them just in case. Kinda like having a drink now and then.  A friend and i talked. Really a dumb idea.  So i am formulating a plan. I have to know to talk to myself when i get wild. I didn't come on here because my excuse no one can help talk me out of this. I should have read, read, and read some more in the conversations.   I bought the nicotine gum what are your thoughts on using it? Or the patches?  Or should I maybe talk to my doctor about getting an anxiety medication? Trade one addiction for another. I am not one who likes to take pills.  I just want to think these 2 days never happened and get back doing what I need to do. I have exercises. I think I am kind nuts because my surgery is in a few weeks. I am supposed to stop smoking. Oh my. Thank you all for being here.  I am just spilling my thoughts to you all.  I best go now. Until next time. Stay safe.

[Barbscloud]

Keep working at it.   You're going to get this.

Barb

[Giulia]

"Being here is not the same as being here."  I hear you.  " but I am going to stay here and work at what I need to work at."  You won't fail if you do that.  My money's on YOU!

[CathyC1332]

Thank you.

[dsprague]

I am using the patches, it helps but does not take it totally away. Remember what you felt like when you quit, bet the air seems better, didn’t have that taste in your mouth, food tasted better. You will do it, it will take time but you will tell yourself enough is enough and put them down for ever.

[tyndallgw]

As has been stated above, having your favorite source of nicotine around will not work.  If I had access to a good cigar in my house, my 140 day quit would be out the window as I wouldn't be able to resist.  As for NRT, I have done both cold turkey and nicotine gum in separate quits 15 years apart.  The gum makes the first few weeks tolerable, but you will eventually have to pay the piper and get rid of nicotine all together.