Hi I have had 5 unsuccessful quits and I quit quitting but I am so scared I am going to die very soon I had chest xray everything is ok there for now but I don't want to die early I'm 49....30 yr smoker about 2 ppd. I'm scared to fail at quitting again because the last time I failed I ended up at the psych unit my depression got much worse. I have to make this my final attempt, my final quit, or I am certain I will speed the process by smoking more, and getting more depressed, then another suicide attempt. I cry every time I think about quitting. I have a lot of outside stressors; money, my mother 1000 miles away dying from dementia, Feb. 09 I had a respiratory arrest because I was very sick from a bile leak after my gall bladder came out and I was in multisystem organ failure and septic so I have PTSD also. I am also a type 2 diabetic; no meds tho, controlled by diet.
Even though my oxygen level is 96-98 and I do not have emphysema yet this will take it's toll on me sooner than later. It's getting harder to breathe.
I'm so scared. I tried another "quit line" and it didn't work for me. I am looking for a fresh start here.
Thanks for listening.
