I'm a 21 year old worship leader at a small/medium sized youth group in the far west suburbs of Chicago. I started smoking in the fall of '08. Mostly, I started because it was the only way to get a break while i was working. Then it turned into an all day habit peaking at about a pack a day. Any time i was bored or frustrated or driving or after i ate or when i got out of the car.... It got out of hand quickly. I soon found smoking buddies who smoked even more than i did which just pulled me further in the wrong direction. After about a year of tolerance from my girlfriend, she put her foot down and said you have to quit. After 12 months of smoking, I threw my last pack away.
I picked the username 'romanticiser' because thats why I still fight with smoking. I never had a physical attachment to smoking. I had no physical withdraws from quitting. However even now 4 months later I struggle psychologically. I had and still have such a psychological attachment. I constantly romanticize having a cigarette. I long for the way I felt when i was bored but could reach for a smoke and just be. Not sit and think about everything.
The more time I spend here on becomeanex.org the more i realize that im downright wrong for romanticizing something that tears apart so many lives and families. I look forward to utilizing the support system that is evident here in this community and i think it would be a huge help for me to participate as well in supporting all of you. Thanks for reading. And thanks in advance for your words of encouragement.
God is Love
