Do you ever think to yourself...

[chefmelliott]

I was standing next to my car  while my  kids were in the car waiting cause mommy  needed  a cigerette...& I looked at them and thought that it's not the best for my kids. I want the best of everthing I have to give them & then the thought how in the hell did I get here? Do you ever look at your kids & you can't help but wonder if they had that cough again because of you, even though you don't smoke in front of them. How did I get here? I snuck out of church the other day for a cigrette. How did I get to the place that I am so weak.

[lorilor]

I was the same way.  I would smoke and everyone would have to wait for me to finish. My life revolved around my cigarettes.  Its been one week and I am going nuts but keep thinking its go to get better.  Even if you dont smoke in front of your children they say the smoke that stays on your body is enough to harm them.  I smoked for 30 years and I am going to try so hard to make it

[nicole_suggs]

My children are everything to me. They ask me all the time to stop. I feel bad when I smoke in front of them and I will make an excuse as to why I need this. My son wrote down a list of reason why not to and I'm still doing it. I don't want my kids to get sick from the second hand smoke. I feel like I'm a bad parent for what I'm doing. I don't want to die from this and than my children has to live with that pain.

[freeatlast6]

Of my top 5 reasons for quiting 3 of them revolve around my two young girls (6 yrs & 18 months).  I am one week into this amazing new chapter in my life.  The "original" me, the "ex-smoker" me- I feel such a tremendous amount of pride for quiting. Tried and failed so many times I was begining to think I would NEVER get to where I am today...1 week cold turkey completley Nicotine free after smoking a pack a day for the last 15 years.  My only regret is that I was not able to get to this place before now BUT better late than never!!! Not saying it was EASY, the first three days were rough.  I see it this way though; if I never ever smoke again I NEVER have to go through that withdrawl again.  A helpful little thought at moments of weakness! Positive energy to ALL and Congrats for quiting and let's KEEP quit!!!!

[mustdothisnow]

Ah Free@last... thanks for the advice. And good to hear other people voicing the guilt I too have felt. And Chef, I was just thinking..."What happened to my strength???" I consider myself a powerfully self possessed woman, yet when it comes to quitting, I'm a weak loser!  I was trying to cut down and track my cigarettes and set a date to quit and have had no success. I hate hiding from my son to smoke and trying to casually escort him out of my little smoking room when he catches me.  Ridiculous...I do look at myself and wonder how the hell am i so weak to let myself have such a physically and emotionally nasty crutch!?

But tomorrow is a new day and you've all inspired me. Thank you!...I think I will do more writing, it seems to help. Although the computer is one of my biggest triggers. :(...Such an embarrassed mother I am

[ssauer]

A mother of a 2 1/2  year old. And smoker, turned prego, turned ex smoker, and now back to smoker. I constantly wonder why I didnt just stay away. I had my daughter when i was 20. One month before my 21st bday. After one month and turing 21 i relized I could drink, and then I relized I could again smoke. Because I was no longer preggers and it would no longer hurt my daughter....I dont smoke in the car....I dont smoke in the house......All these lame excuses that I have used for TWO years. Brought me to today. I continue to hurt my daughter with maybe some chances of 2nd hand smoke when she is out side playing and Im sitting there smoking. But im also hurting my self which effects her directly. What if I were to get lung cancer at a young age because I have been smoking for so long. I often wonder what would happen to her and my husband. I strive to be strong and a good mother. I long for her to know that smoking is bad and nasty. How can I push that in her head while I sit with a lit cigarette in my hand?? Also a brand new member awaiting my start date...Thinking I need to buck up and make it START TODAY.  Im so glad to read the other stories and really helps me!

[valerie17]

wow, your blog made me cry.  I feel the same way a lot of the time.  WOW.... Im new here, so I'm going to start the process slow.  Im counting my cigs and looking for a pattern.  Thanks becuase not 5 minutes ago I was thinking I wasnt ready.

[jenn2477]

I agree!!!  I often think I am a good person, or tell myself I am, because I do not smoke in my house or car with my kids.  It is just as bad having them stand or play near me.  I am starting to have panic attacks at night that I am going to have a heart attack becuase of my smoking,  At night I will swear I am going to quit and then in the morning it is like a new day and I keep smoking.  I have gotten Chantix, picked a start date and ready to quit.  We can do this for ourselves and for our kids.  I really hope this website helps!!!

[jenn2477]

I agree!!!  I often think I am a good person, or tell myself I am, because I do not smoke in my house or car with my kids.  It is just as bad having them stand or play near me.  I am starting to have panic attacks at night that I am going to have a heart attack becuase of my smoking,  At night I will swear I am going to quit and then in the morning it is like a new day and I keep smoking.  I have gotten Chantix, picked a start date and ready to quit.  We can do this for ourselves and for our kids.  I really hope this website helps!!!

[jenn2477]

I agree!!!  I often think I am a good person, or tell myself I am, because I do not smoke in my house or car with my kids.  It is just as bad having them stand or play near me.  I am starting to have panic attacks at night that I am going to have a heart attack becuase of my smoking,  At night I will swear I am going to quit and then in the morning it is like a new day and I keep smoking.  I have gotten Chantix, picked a start date and ready to quit.  We can do this for ourselves and for our kids.  I really hope this website helps!!!