Do you ever feel in balance again?

[cornelia0214]

I am preparing to quit once again and am very afraid that I am going to fail.  The only thing that I can think about is how hard it was the last time that I quit for 4 months.  I never felt right and was very cranky.  It didn't get better and I thought I was doing all the right things by adding exercise, drinking lots of water, etc.  How long should it really take to feel normal again?

[anaussiemom]

Some of that is up to you.   Hugs



Hence irritable ^^

[Barbara145]

Good morning.  I smoked for 52 years.  I lost a quit about 15 years before I quit for the same reason you are describing.  I wanted my old self back. What I learned from this site was there is a time called No Man's Land.  It is from one month to about 4 months. A  lot of people lose quits at that time.  There is a lot of information on this site about No Man's Land and everything else about quitting smoking. It is a journey, a process to heal from smoking, emotionally and physically. At 4 months you were probably just about in a better place.  You did it before, you can do it again. It took me about a year to get really comfortable but even then there is plenty of work to do. It is so worth the efforts. It is life changing.  I am so grateful to be living the rest of my life not smoking.  Life is just better. Glad you found this site.  It takes lots of support for many of us to quit smoking.  I doubt I would have "hung in there"   without this site.   

[cornelia0214]

Thanks so much for your story.  I do really want to be a non-smoker.  

[maryfreecig]

      The things that you listed as the right things to do are indeed the right things to do. Support, also, is so important (so is education--reviewing what you already know about nicotine addiction is a good thing to do). Our brains are changed by smoking and it takes time to relearn life without smoking--to get the nicotine dependent receptors in the brain to go dormant--that's why additional support comes in handy. You'll never be quitting alone again if you don't want to because Ex is here to offer you help--in turn as you get over your smoking your sharing helps others!!!   

      Forgetting the dependency is DOABLE. Normal is reachable. All the former smokers here had to work for a while to get over smoking--some found it somewhat easy, some found it difficult, some found it hard---but all, with any reasonable amount of time not smoking, got over idolizing smoking, romancing it or thinking that it helped. 

      I was a mess when I quit (cold turkey and mostly on my own) and I thought I'd never get over smoking (I was 54). Today, heading toward six years, I feel so happy that I stuck with not smoking--I got over worshiping my old habit (funny thing--when I smoked I had disdain for it--when I quit, all I thought about was how much easier it was to just smoke!!!).

In the past bunch of years I've missed out on about 40,000 cigarettes--no regrets. I've missed out on spending about 17,000 bucks--again, no regrets. The list goes on.

      One day at a time you can get over the dependency. Four months is considered early in a quit and getting support is a good thing to add to your new quit goal.

[cornelia0214]

That really helps. I will be 58 in August and have been smoking for about

40 years with the exception of pregnancies and on and off quitting. When I

don't smoke I have a hard time focusing and feel foggy and irritable. I

smoke about 10 cigs a day. Do you recommend cutting it to 5 for a few

weeks and then cold turkey. I really don't want to depend on anything else

to get me through except support and knowledge if I can help it. Also, if

you don't mind me asking, did you gain much weight? Thanks for your help,

Cornelia

On Fri, Jun 14, 2019 at 10:15 AM maryfreecig <communityadmin@becomeanex.org>

[YoungAtHeart]

The fog and irritability WILL end as you get further along in your quit.  It is a sign that your body is adjusting to life without nicotine.  It has been used to getting it for 40 years, so it takes awhile for it to adjust.

I personally do not recommend cutting back your cigarettes to a specific number - it might work for you; it didn't for me.  It just kept me bargaining with myself so I could have an extra now and thinking I could, for instance, not smoke any in the evening....keeping smoking on my mind 100% of the time.  What might work better is starting now to track each one you smoke and make a note of why you want one.  Is it mindless?  If so - try to put it off until it isn't.  Also, put each one off while you get busy doing something.  By doing this you will naturally cut down over time.  You might also start to think of what you can do instead of smoke for each one you light.  If you increase your exercise and sub things like carrot and celery sticks and sugar free mint and gum in between other munchies, you can limit any weight gain. 

[Andstillirise]

Honestly a positive attitude is everything ! And I’m not typically a positive person . Perspective matters too . 

For me , I wasn’t afraid of not quitting . I was afraid of gaining weight , being irritable and an emotional mess . 

At day 62 I don’t feel in balance 100 percent BUT I feel so much better physically! Exercise has been the life saver for me . Trade one ritual for another helps. 

You csn totslly do this !!  

[JonesCarpeDiem]

You need to look at the exact reason you started back

Likely you simply talked yourself into to it or some life event was an excuse

Look for the first day you realize you didn't think of smoking the day before.

We create our own happiness.

How we react to life events is actually our choice

Here's what I consider the major milestones

1 month-Many don't even make it month s this is the first milestone

4 months + 10 days-People who make it  month often give up in the next 3 months.    

1st year-Dealing with life (holidays and loss) without smoking

2nd year-Growing your distance from smoking. Relapse rates drop from 94% to 2-4% at two years

[ltbrown022]

I quit 86 days ago and I still do not feel in balance or normal. I do have to say that I feel much better than I did in the beginning of my quit but I am still struggling with the emotional aspect of this big life change. No mans land is where I am now and everyone is right about this difficult period. Being prepared for it and knowing it’s coming might make it a little easier for you this time around. It’s hard to stay positive sometimes but not smoking is always the best answer. Time and patience. Keep reading on here and following everyone’s advice. It helps tremendously. You can totally do it! Congrats!  

[elvan]

I smoked for 47 years and I had countless failed quits...seriously COUNTLESS.  I, too, was obsessed with weight gain and it was often one of the reasons I returned to smoking, so was the idea that I felt like I was constantly fighting the craves.  My life seemed to be overwhelmed with thoughts of smoking.  I quit THIS time...over five years ago.  I did a LOT of damage to my lungs and I pay for it every day with shortness of breath and fatigue, I cannot begin to tell you how much I wish I had quit sooner.  I am on oxygen at night only but I suspect I will get to the point where I need it 24/7 because COPD is progressive and stopping smoking SLOWS it but doesn't CURE it.  I remember someone telling me at the beginning of my quit that I would be better off gaining a few pounds that I could always lose later than having to drag around an oxygen tank for the rest of my life.  Oh, I don't have a weight issue, if I gained weight at the beginning of my quit, it was so minimal that I didn't ever change clothing sizes.  I tend to measure my weight more by that than a scale.  In any event, don't let weight gain stop you from quitting and don't put it out there...quit and make that the focus of everything you do, drink lots of water, exercise, educate yourself about this addiction, avail yourself of the amazing support on this site, and COMMIT to your quit.  It has to be your number one priority at the beginning and it has to be one day at a time.  My mantra when I quit was NOPE, Not One Puff Ever, I learned it here and I said it over and over and over again.  I won't tell you that it was easier but I WILL tell you that it was a whole lot easier than any other quit.

Welcome to EX...stay close to the site, read, ask questions, you are not alone in this.

Ellen