Desperately want to be smoke free in Alaska

[meg2]

Hi, everyone. Hy husband, teenage daughter, and I are fulfilling a long time dream and moving to Alaska at the end of this month. Everything is going very well so far. It seems that the universe and whatever powers that be are very much behind our making this move, because everything just seems to be falling into place with the greatest of ease! My life is so very wonderful right now. If I could just stop smoking without becoming a sobbing, screaming, rageing BEAST, it would be pretty darn close to perfect! I have made a commitment to myself and to my family that no matter what, I will NOT smoke in Alaska, EVER! I have been SERIOUSLY attempting to stop smoking for the last 4 weeks. I even managed to stop completely for almost a full 8 days, but then gooffed and smoked a few while over at a friends house, the excuse being that if I didn't, I was going to kill my daughter! Within two days I went out and bought a pack.I have significantly cut down since then, smoking somewhere between 3 and 10+ cigs per day.
I'm litterally falling asleep at the computer, so I'll have to continue this later. Don't expect a whole lot of communication...I don't have the physical or mental stamina to be on the computer for very long...I have Fibromyalgia, and have susstained multiple concussions with resulting brain injury. Howerve, I am currently doing better that I have in MANY years, so I'm quite happy.

May you receive many Blessings on your Journey toward Wholness (life),
Meg

[breathless]

You can do this! If you have already done 8 days then you can do it again, and then add 1 more day , and so on. Are you trying cold turkey or do you have some kind of meds to help?

[meg2]

Thanks. I know I'll be able to do it. I'm just really not sure that doing any more than I am (reducing by half or more) is possible, or even very wise, at this point. As wonderful as life has been, there is still a lot of emotion, and those tend to become EXTREAMLY out of control when I'm attempting to cease completely. Then too, the stars seem to be realigning, and communication seems to being going all awry. It almost feels like people are hearing almost the exact oppossit of what I intend in emotionally charged situations. I broke down completely today after a situation with a couple of friends blew completely out of control, and then my husband expressed his desire not to have a yard sale. Just could NOT handle it. Think the clerk at the 7-11 caught the fact that I was about to burst into tears when I bought the pack. Went around the corner and sobbed (and I mean sobbed) for about 10 min and then cried the whole time while I smoked 2 cigs, all in 95 degree hea (one reason we're moving to AK!).
Came home and discussed it with hubby and he sincerely reccomended that I stay with the cutting down at least until we are actually on the road.
BTW, this is the first time I've moved out of State in my entire life, and only the third time I've done more than move across town.

[breathless]

Whether you are quitting cold turkey or with some kind of meds, Leslie is right. You HAVE to get your head right. You have to have some kind of plan. The plan at Becomeanex.com is great. So is the Chantix web site. There are many options out there. You might have to try more than one to find one that suits you personally. BTW I went to Alaska in March for a vacation. I was a smoker then & I have never felt so out of place. In Alabama, especially the rural town I live in now, most people still smoke. But in Alaska, especially Anchorage, most people do not. People are out hiking, & jogging with their dogs & cross country skiing, etc. And there I was hiding around the corner puffin' away watching them wishing I could do what they were doing. I started working on my quit as soon as we got back.

[Giulia]

Hey there Meg,

I didn't know what Fibromyalgia was, so I looked it up. One of the things is said was: "The brain nerve chemical serotonin is also relatively low in patients with fibromyalgia."

Knowing how smoking related to serotonin levels I found this and pass it on as an incentive:

"Scientists at Dundee University have discovered that smoking causes physical changes in the brain which stop it being flooded with the body's natural stress-busting hormone, serotonin. That means smokers are deficient in serotonin and therefore less able to cope with the everyday pressures of life, suffering high levels of stress."

Is it possible that smoking is having even a worse affect on you because of the Fibromyalgia because your serotonin levels are already low and smoking is only decreasing them. Perhaps quitting will lesson the affects of the Fibromyalgia.

For someone with brain injury, you sure have no trouble with expressing yourself beautifully. Maybe we should all get a concussion or two. Might help! LOL

You're putting an extreme amount of pressure on yourself and I think that's making the task seem more onerous than it might be. Quitting isn't easy, but we tend to make it HUGE in our minds. As breathless said, you have to get your head in the right spot. And at the moment I don't think yours is. I MUST STOP WHEN I GET TO ALASKA, I PROMISED I WOULDN'T SMOKE.... no. Stop today. Just for today. Not for tomorrow, just for today don't put one in your mouth. Just today. It gets too big in our minds if we think in terms of QUITTING FOREVER AND EVER. So I say break it down into manageable chunks. If an entire day is too much for you right now, then say to yourself you'll quit for 4 hours. Or whatever you think you can realistically handle.

Moving is incredibly stressful, and moving to a whole 'nother state (as much as this might be a dream of yours) is even more so. From extreme hot to extreme cold. Of course your emotions are going bananas. And quitting intensifies them. Accept that all this is so and it will be a little easier. Accept that you're gonna sob and laugh and rage. It's all normal.

If I could wave a magic wand and say to you, "hey, you don't have to be quit by the time you get to Alaska," wouldn't you feel an incredible load being lifted from yourself? Wouldn't you suddenly relax? So, what I'm suggesting is, take that thought out of your head and just promise yourself you'll take this one day at a time. Stop for today only.

Cheering you on.

Giulia (2 years 6 mos +)