Thanks Thomas!
I pledge today and I have 50 hours 36 minutes free of nicotine.
The days were handled by using the 101 things to do list and using Carr's self talk about cigarette. Whenever, I thought cigarettes, my tape sound like this: "Yeah one puff leaves me back to 1000 puff, poor health, bad smells, lost of income, and back to isolation." It worked. As I was enjoying myself, I would look over at the smoker's section and Carr's statement not to envy but pity the smoker would make it a glance rather than yearning to be with the smokers.
Your blog helped with my experience last night. Last night, I experienced a wicked craving. I woke up to the taste and smell of nicotine. My reflex was to reach for a cigarette. I was disoriented for a few minutes.
This morning when I woke, I was feeling agitated, anxiety and frustrated. To handle the frustration, I walked for 10 minutes and stayed in gratitude for not doing the first puff. I could not shake the agitation and anxiety, I magnified everything: having my dream, being disoriented, tasting and smelling the nicotine. I was overgeneralizing my withdrawals and comparing.
You helped me to turn off that fight or flight mode. Your suggestions were right on time. Secretly, I wanted my high power to give me instant gratification and success instead I am going through the process of being an Ex smoker one step at a time.
Feels like I am writing a novel, I don't have another nicotine meeting until Monday. I hate this feeling of generalized anxiety.
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