Day 9: man oh man

[Kelly16]

Hi friends,

Just curious- During your quit, did you ever have moments where you wished you could go back in time to when you weren't focused on your health and were living your life however you wanted with no regard? For me, that "back in time" is not too long ago. It's been 19 days since I started Chantix, smoke free for the last 9. I know that what I've been doing for the last 9 days is the right path, there is no question. But tonight I find myself looking back on fond memories, before I started taking the Chantix when I would smoke whenever the mood struck. It wasn't a question on whether to smoke or not. It was just a part of life.  And I know now that it was the addiction. I know now that I was a prisoner to the craving. The urge of the demon that we call nicotine. But I'm just being real here- If you take a moment to take out the demon factor, the prisoner factor, the addiction factor...man oh man was smoking great. I am not trying to lesson the goal here. I am not trying to make a mockery of it. I am just being real. If I make it, and I will make it, through this smoke free journey, I will not lie to people about how much I enjoyed it. I will probably enjoy it for all my years. Doesn't mean that I have to partake, but I will not be dishonest. I loved smoking. I recall an episode of SNL during the Jack Handy's Deep Thoughts, when he says,

"Children, do not start smoking. But to the ones who have, isn't it great?" 

It's supposed to be humorous. It's supposed to not be taken seriously.

But there is a bit a seriousness in those words and you'd be lying if you didn't agree to some extent.

I mean, isn't that why we're all here?

Thanks for listening. 

[Christine13]

The only reason I enjoyed cigarettes was to deal with my emotions.  Later on, I'd light up in the morning I'd cough so bad I'd have to spit and throw up.  I don't miss that!!  I don't miss the constant in and out of the house in all kinds of weather, rain, snow, bitter cold days just to get my fix.  Sometimes, I have romanced it too, that always got me into trouble.  Now I dream of better days ahead, and just how proud I will be for achieving my dream to be smokefree for the rest of my life.

[SaraPeach]

I totally get what you're saying and right now I feel the same way. However, when I quit for 9 years I did NOT feel that way at all. I couldn't believe I ever smoked. I never had any desire to do it again. You might surprise yourself when you get a little farther along in your quit. 

[Bonnie]

I was in Nicotine Anonymous for awhile...at one meeting I talked about how much I loved smoking. I struggled in that support group, did my chronic-relapser song and dance, but my saying that inspired another smoker, who had smoked more and longer than I did, to quit....and she stayed quit to this day...it's been over 10 years.

[anaussiemom]

  Hindsight is a reality of life, I could live without  sometimes.

Hugs
Kim